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Editor's memo to the managing editor.

Editor's memo to the managing editor. Xy0M8
The editor of the newspaper makes a series of assumptions in arriving at the conclusions that the paper had improved in quality and readership. They owe the improvement directly to the hiring of older and more experienced journalists without adequately justifying it. The editor also goes on to conclude without further confirmation that the less experienced reporters did not contribute to the improvement and that they would not also do so in the future. The first assumption the editor makes is in the metrics used to judge the paper. It is not clear that the survey of the subscribers three years ago was a statistically accurate one. The question is whether it had chosen the right sampling of people. Further the complaints of the quality of the reporting and writing could have been specific to a few people. Did the survey ask everyone specifically about the quality or were they comments by a few? These are important to answer so as to bring accuracy to the results of the survey. The editor uses a subsequent rating on reporting and writing and the growth in subscriber base is evidence that the quality has improved. Again, elaborating on the statistical method used to obtain these ratings would convince the managing editor that the metrics are to begin with reliable. Secondly, the editor goes on to assume that the older and more experienced journalists were the direct cause for the higher ratings. For example, if the ratings had improved even without hiring of older and more experienced journalists, it would indicate that most of the improvement could have been as a result of the existing younger reporters improving speedily on their reporting skills and trying harder. Providing more evidence of this direct correlation between the hiring of more experienced people and objectively comparing the quality of their writing and reporting those of the younger people after the three years would have helped in strengthening the assumption. Thirdly, the editor assumes that the subscriber base growth of 13% was directly attributable to the quality of reporting and writing. Suppose the subscriber base had grown even without improvement in quality, it could have indicated a growth in the local population. It may have indicated movement of subscribers from a competing newspaper or an improvement in the marketing of the paper. Hence, it is important that the editor isolates the specific reasons for the growth in order to convince the managing editor that the growth was directly correlated to the improvement in quality. And finally, the editor makes the assumption that the younger, less experienced reporters did not contribute and more importantly will not contribute in future to the quality and growth of the paper. For all we know, they could be learning rapidly on their own or from their more experienced colleagues and could be extremely capable contributors in the future of the paper. An objective evaluation of the work of the young reporters and comparison of the same to their work three years prior would have helped lend support to the conclusion that they needed to be fired. In conclusion, the editor of the local newspaper could have provided more information and rationalization for relying on the metrics, to the rather drastic conclusion that the less experienced reporters needed to be fired and that the more experienced journalists were the direct reason for the improvement in readership and quality.
The editor of the newspaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a series of assumptions in arriving at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusions
that the paper had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and readership. They owe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
directly
to the hiring of older and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
without
adequately
justifying it. The editor
also
goes on
to conclude
without
further
confirmation that the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporters
did not contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
and that they would not
also
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the future.

The
first
assumption the editor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
is in the metrics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to judge the paper. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the survey of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscribers
three years ago was a
statistically
accurate one. The question is whether it had chosen the right sampling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Further
the complaints of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
could have been specific to a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Did the survey ask everyone
specifically
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
or were they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "comment"
comments
by a few? These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to answer
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
bring accuracy to the results of the survey. The editor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rating
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscriber
base is evidence that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Again, elaborating on the statistical method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to obtain these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratings
would convince the managing editor that the metrics are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with reliable.

Secondly
, the editor goes on to assume that the older and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
were the direct cause for the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratings
.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratings
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
even without hiring of older and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
, it would indicate that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
could have been
as a result
of the existing younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporters
improving
speedily
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and trying harder. Providing more evidence of this direct correlation between the hiring of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
objectively
comparing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporting
those of the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after the three years would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in strengthening the assumption.

Thirdly
, the editor assumes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscriber
base
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of 13% was
directly
attributable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
. Suppose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscriber
base had grown even without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
, it could have indicated a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the local population. It may have indicated movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscribers
from a competing newspaper or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
in the marketing of the paper.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the editor isolates the specific reasons for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in order to convince the managing editor that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
was
directly
correlated to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
in quality.

And
finally
, the editor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the assumption that the younger, less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporters
did not contribute and more
importantly
will not contribute in future to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of the paper. For all we know, they could be learning
rapidly
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or from their more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
colleagues and could be
extremely
capable contributors in the future of the paper. An objective evaluation of the work of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporters
and comparison of the same to their work three years prior would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
lend support to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
that they needed to
be fired
.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
, the editor of the local newspaper could have provided more information and rationalization for relying on the metrics, to the
rather
drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
that the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reporters
needed to
be fired
and that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
were the direct reason for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
in readership and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
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IELTS essay Editor's memo to the managing editor.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
565 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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