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Teenagers are required to do unpaid social work in their free time

Teenagers are required to do unpaid social work in their free time RwqaW
Teenagers are the strong pillars of our country. They play a pivotal role in society. Young people can spend their time, talent and money to serve nation without expecting anything return. I completely agree with the statement. To commence with, there are numerous reasons to favour this notion. First and foremost, the unpaid social work rocket their responsibility towards community. Furthermore, they can improve certain skills while communicate with variety of cultures. For example, during the covid pandemic situation teenagers perform a phenominal role as they helped the needy ones by giving food and medicines. As a part of this, they would able to escalate the empathetic power on themselves. Also they were cited for the selfless effort and kindness although in the crucial stage. However, Teenage is the most vital phase in everyone life. They have to find their own time for future development. But serving the surroundings without expecting anything is awe-inspiring. As a result, it become a motivation to others and stimulate them to do such activities. Nowadays, leisure time is robbed by social media. Some of the youngsters mundane that mind since it does not have any financial side. Hence, it can be seen from the above-mentioned point that teenagers are required to do community works in their free time. To conclude that, I support those who opine that teenagers are needed to the development as it improves society too. The benefits are not only for them but also for the milieu where they live.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
are the strong pillars of our country. They play a pivotal role in society. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can spend their time, talent and money to serve nation without expecting anything return. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

To commence with, there are numerous reasons to
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
this notion.
First
and foremost, the unpaid social work rocket their responsibility towards community.
Furthermore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
while communicate with variety of cultures.
For example
, during the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
pandemic situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
perform a
Possible spelling mistake found.
phenominal
role as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the needy ones by giving food and medicines. As a part of this, they
Did you mean "would be able"?
would able
to escalate the empathetic power on themselves.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they
were cited
for the selfless effort and kindness although in the crucial stage.

However
, Teenage is the most vital phase in everyone life. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time for future development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
serving the surroundings without expecting anything is awe-inspiring.
As a result
, it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
a motivation to others and stimulate them to do such activities. Nowadays, leisure time
is robbed
by social media.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
youngsters mundane that mind since it does not have any financial side.
Hence
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the above-mentioned point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are required
to do community works in their free time.

To conclude
that, I support those who opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are needed
to the development as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
society too. The benefits are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the milieu where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Teenagers are required to do unpaid social work in their free time

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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