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Some people think that movies and games should be censored as it is harmful for society and other think that there is no harmful effect

Some people think that movies and games should be censored as it is harmful for society and other think that there is no harmful effect 2K0NX
Taking a superficial approach, it is an undeniable fact that with the advancement of technology, denizens are becoming highly dependent on modern gadgets in the present scenario. Most of the people contemplate that films and digital games consists of undesirable scenes and actions, which are becoming popular and threat to society and it must be censored, while, some believe that are just for entertainment and safe. In my sagacious opinion, I partially agree with the statement. This essay will be discussing both the notions in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are plethora of reasons that show it has negative impact on society. First, youngsters will imitate the clothing style of actors and actresses as well as their behaviour by watching films. To be more precise, if juveniles are watching movies that contain violent action, consequently children also try to do this actions, but they may get hurt and leads to health issues. Further, playing computer games in excess will impact their mental ability and slow the process of development of mind. Owing to this, they will gain more weight and eventually, they have to suffer from the problems of obesity. Moreover, children are considered as the future of the nation, ultimately it may affect the development of the nations. Conversely, there are various reasons that shows it is harmless. In addition to this, children will feel more relaxed and they should be given some time to enjoy their life. To elaborate this, if they study all the time they might lose their interest in studies. So, they also need some time to forget their worries related to studies and watch some movies as well as playing computer games. Nextly, playing games make them more creative and enthusiastic. To conclude, government authorities should spread meticulous awareness and make adequate laws to curb the problem of violence in pictures and parents should be cautious regarding their children and make some schedule related to their daily routine.
Taking a superficial approach, it is an undeniable fact that with the advancement of technology, denizens are becoming
highly
dependent on modern gadgets in the present scenario. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contemplate that films and digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
consists of undesirable scenes and actions, which are becoming popular and threat to society and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be censored
, while,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for entertainment and safe. In my sagacious opinion, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. This essay will be discussing both the notions in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are plethora of reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society.
First
, youngsters will imitate the clothing style of actors and actresses
as well
as their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by watching films. To be more precise, if juveniles are watching movies that contain violent action,
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
try to do this actions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt and leads to health issues.
Further
, playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in excess will impact their mental ability and slow the process of development of mind. Owing to this, they will gain more weight and
eventually
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from the problems of obesity.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are considered
as the future of the nation,
ultimately
it may affect the development of the nations.
Conversely
, there are various reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
it is harmless.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will feel more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
relaxed and
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to enjoy their life. To elaborate this, if they study all the time they might lose their interest in studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
also
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to forget their worries related to studies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
movies
as well
as playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more creative and enthusiastic.
To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities should spread meticulous awareness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
adequate laws to curb the problem of violence in pictures and parents should be cautious regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schedule related to their daily routine.
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IELTS essay Some people think that movies and games should be censored as it is harmful for society and other think that there is no harmful effect

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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