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Economic Impact of Tourism

Economic Impact of Tourism 0EDMO
According to my opinion I think tourism is very good income for the entire country. It's helps to increase the economical certainty and its leads to reduce the jobless situation of the country too. It's make additional business market. And also one of interesting advantage that I reckon, people are get influence to learn some different languages and cultures. However it is depend on the things how we are managing its properly and which relevant and most required things we are developing in this field. For example UAE is one of popular tourist destination in the Middle East and UAE gourmet is always concerned about tourists. But unfortunately if I talk about some of south Asian countries they are not provided some basic needs and things for the tourists. As per my perspective each an everything has advantages and disadvantages much it has possible. I am here from one of popular tourist destination in South Asia and I can tell in detailed the festival times very difficult to find out hotel rooms in my country. It's because of the highly demanded of hotel rooms by tourists. It's really affecting to locals people and residents daily needs. So I thinks that is one of disadvantage of tourism. However well managed and well planned concepts can win this challenge by introducing some new kind of solutions and modern ideas. Because I believe in this modern world we everyone are like to travel and tourism is really want to be upgraded locally and globally
According to my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
tourism is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase the economical certainty and its leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the jobless situation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
additional business market. And
also
one of interesting advantage that I reckon,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influence to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages and cultures.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the things how we are managing
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
properly
and which relevant and most required things we are developing in this field.
For example
UAE is one of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destination in the Middle East and UAE gourmet is always concerned about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately if I talk about
Consider using "some south" or "some of the south".
some of south
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they are not provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic needs and things for the tourists.

As per my perspective each
Possible typo. Did you mean "an" or "everything"?
an everything
has advantages and disadvantages much it has possible. I am here from one of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destination in South Asia and I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
in detailed the festival times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to find out hotel rooms in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
highly
demanded of hotel rooms by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
really
affecting to locals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and residents daily needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that is
one of disadvantage of tourism.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
well managed and well planned concepts can win this challenge by introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new kind of solutions and modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I believe in this modern world
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'we'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
we everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
like to travel and tourism is
really
Consider using a past participle here: "wanted".
want
to
be upgraded
locally
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
globally
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IELTS essay Economic Impact of Tourism

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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