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eating at home better than in the restaurant

eating at home better than in the restaurant dlOjK
There are many reasons why outdoor dining may be a good idea for families and friends. Firstly, if eating out in the restaurant, people can have more time to talk, play with their family members and their friends, which can help them understand each other better. For example, when my family have an outdoor dining, instead of preparing meal, my mother has more time to teach my brother and play with him. Secondly, if people feel too boring with the dish eating every day, they can try new foods in the restaurant. It will help them know more kind of foods. Furthermore, having something new with their family and their friends can make they have a good time together. However, I still believe home- cooked meals are better because of these following reasons. In my opinion, health is the most important to each people. Although the food in the restaurant or canteen have a good taste, we do not really know where it come from, is it fresh, clean or dirty. Beside of that, the restaurant usually uses a lot of oil to cook and not have enough vegetable for a meal so it is harmful to their health. It can cause many health problems like: heart problem, out of weigh, fat, …Therefore, home-cooked is much more better, people can choose which food is good for their health and have a good diet, balance between meats and vegetables. Furthermore, outdoor dining is expensive and it waste too much money which can be use to do another thing to improve their life.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why outdoor dining may be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and friends.
Firstly
, if eating out in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have more time to talk, play with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and their friends, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand each other better.
For example
, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
an outdoor dining,
instead
of preparing meal, my mother has more time to teach my brother and play with him.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel too boring with the dish eating every day, they can try new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them know more kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Furthermore
, having something new with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and their friends can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
time together.

However
, I
still
believe home- cooked meals are better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these following reasons. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
or canteen have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
taste, we do not
really
know where it
Did you mean "comes"?
come
from, is it fresh, clean or dirty. Beside of that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
oil to cook and not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
vegetable for a meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is harmful to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. It can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems like: heart problem, out of weigh,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, …
Add a space between sentences
Therefore
, home-cooked is much
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
diet, balance between meats and vegetables.
Furthermore
, outdoor dining is expensive and it
Did you mean "wastes"?
waste
too much money which can be
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
do another thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life.
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IELTS essay eating at home better than in the restaurant

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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