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having a stricter punishment for driving offenses is the only way to improve road safety

having a stricter punishment for driving offenses is the only way to improve road safety gWa71
Nowadays, more and more traffic accidents are related to traffic law violations. Some people believed that imposing stricter penalties for driving offenses is the only way to protect people. Personally, I completely agree with this idea and I will explain why in my essay. Firstly, I admit that there is a variety of benefits to implementing stringent punishments. It can act as a deterrent to would-be lawbreakers. For example, fines for individuals who commit traffic violations according to severity. This can make them psychologically afraid of facing even more severe punishment. Therefore, significantly reducing the rate of people violating traffic laws. Besides, violation of any traffic rules can lead to a severe accident and if the punishment is made stern, people would likely obey them. Thereby, reducing the number of public traffic accidents. Secondly, other measures are not as effective as the one mentioned above. Constructing traffic signs also bring certain benefits, but some people still tend to violate traffic rules because it is not strong enough to make road users strictly follow the rules. Install camera systems that can monitor traffic violations but in hidden corners of cameras, drivers can still circumvent the laws. In conclusion, I completely agree that having a stricter punishment for driving offenses is the only way to improve road safety
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that imposing stricter penalties for driving offenses is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in my essay.

Firstly
, I admit that there is a variety of benefits to implementing stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
. It can act as a deterrent to would-be lawbreakers.
For example
, fines for individuals who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violations
according to severity. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
psychologically
afraid of facing even more severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Therefore
,
significantly
reducing the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
violating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violation
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
can lead to a severe accident and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is made
stern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would likely obey them. Thereby, reducing the number of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

Secondly
, other measures are not as effective as the one mentioned above. Constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
signs
also
bring certain benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
tend to violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
road users
strictly
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Install camera systems that can monitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in hidden corners of cameras, drivers can
still
circumvent the laws.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that having a stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for driving offenses is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
road safety
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IELTS essay having a stricter punishment for driving offenses is the only way to improve road safety

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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