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Education plays an important role in our society. Some people say that the education system forces students to study specialist subjects when they reach 15 years old, whereas others believe that it can support learning a wide range of subjects until they graduate. I suppose the two opposite ideas have their own significant merits, however I strongly agree with the former idea.

Education plays an important role in our society. Some people say that the education system forces students to study specialist subjects when they reach 15 years old, whereas others believe that it can support learning a wide range of subjects until they graduate. I suppose the two opposite ideas have their own significant merits, however I strongly agree with the former idea. bx9wX
Education plays an important role in our society. Some people say that the education system forces students to study specialist subjects when they reach 15 years old, whereas others believe that it can support learning a wide range of subjects until they graduate. I suppose the two opposite ideas have their own significant merits, however I strongly agree with the former idea. On the one hand, certain groups advocate that education should allow students to study a wide range of subjects throughout their year of school. Firstly, enrolling in a broad educational system enables students to have a preparation for life as they stimulate their interest in all aspects of life. Schools must encourage students to prefer all subjects such as literature, history and philosophy. Because a wide range of subjects can give the young generation a chance for comprehensive development. Secondly, studying a wide range of subjects encourages students at the age 15 to develop their critical thinking, logical skill, imagination and creativity. Although students are taught a majority of foundation knowledge, they also have time to express themselves through paintings, sculptures or music classes. On the other hand, many individuals hold the firm idea that schools must provide some certain subjects. These people have such concerns because youngsters paying more attention to these subjects to gain a higher score in the final exam can provide a chance to get a job easily. For example, learning Maths, Literature and English is a compulsory subject for the national curriculum high school exam in Viet Nam. People believe that specialising in the main subject is more effective than concentrating on the diversity of subjects as students have more time to allocate to cultivate their strengths. Moreover, high schools in Viet Nam eliminate some art subjects and priority for main subjects. By doing that, high school students can spend all their time on the main subject in the exam to gain their best achievement. For me, schools with a certain subject are better than a wide range of subjects for several reasons. Students can identify their capabilities to develop their strengths and fix their weaknesses so that they can have a well paid job in the future. Furthermore, it is the best way for students to enter the university in the international education system. In conclusion, while people agree that schools require students to learn a wide range of subjects, others support that they must follow several certain subjects as students can get jobs easily when they leave schools. I completely agree with certain subject education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study specialist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
when they reach 15 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, whereas others believe that it can support learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
until they graduate. I suppose the two opposite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significant merits,
however
I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
groups advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
throughout their year of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Firstly
, enrolling in a broad educational system enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a preparation for life as they stimulate their interest in all aspects of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to prefer all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as literature, history and philosophy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can give the young generation a chance for comprehensive development.
Secondly
, studying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at the age 15 to develop their critical thinking, logical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, imagination and creativity. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
a majority of foundation knowledge, they
also
have time to express themselves through paintings, sculptures or music classes.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals hold the firm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have such concerns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters paying more attention to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to gain a higher score in the final exam can provide a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
easily
.
For example
, learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
, Literature and English is a compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for the national curriculum high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
exam in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialising' is British English.
specialising
in the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is more effective than concentrating on the diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have more time to allocate to cultivate their strengths.
Moreover
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam eliminate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and priority for main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. By doing that, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can spend all their time on the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the exam to gain their best achievement.

For me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
are better than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for several reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can identify their capabilities to develop their strengths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
their weaknesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have a well paid job in the future.
Furthermore
, it is the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enter the university in the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, others support that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs
easily
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Education plays an important role in our society. Some people say that the education system forces students to study specialist subjects when they reach 15 years old, whereas others believe that it can support learning a wide range of subjects until they graduate. I suppose the two opposite ideas have their own significant merits, however I strongly agree with the former idea.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
424 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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