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Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. To what extent do you agree? v.5

Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. v. 5
It is observed that the consumption of nutritious foodstuff is the most significant aspect to live in good condition. In my opinion, I agree with the statement because it helps to reduce the health problems and protect the environment. To begin with, consuming a meal with more nutritions will minimise the health issues such as obesity, diabetes, heart attack and so on. That is to say, half of the people in the world are lagging in physical fitness because of sedentary lifestyles and fast food consumption. Therefore, taking the balanced diet will reduce or avoid their illness and aid them to live longer. For example, the lifespan of people in Japan is higher than any other countries in this world because they consume appropriate proportion of eatables to extend their life. Hence, proper diet will improve their health to be active and heal and prevent all the ailments they have in their body. Another point to consider is that it will help to save the surroundings. In other words, by eliminating animal products will improvise the biodiversity and it will naturally prevent from environment hazardous problems. Also, consuming the vegetables grown in local farm aid to prevent the deforestation. For instance, in India, most of the people prefer to eat organic foods and minimised the intake of meat or other animal products which help them to stay fit and healthy. Thus, people consuming farm grown things and eliminating animal items will prevent the atmosphere for them to live happily. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that consuming nutrient food is a crucial thing for vigorous survival because it not only lowers the physical problems but also rescue the natural resources.
It
is observed
that the consumption of nutritious foodstuff is the most significant aspect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the health problems and protect the environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, consuming a meal with more
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
will
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the health issues such as obesity, diabetes, heart attack and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
That is
to say, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world are lagging in physical fitness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sedentary lifestyles and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food consumption.
Therefore
, taking the balanced diet will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
or avoid their illness and aid them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
For example
, the lifespan of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Japan is higher than any other countries in this world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consume appropriate proportion of eatables to extend their life.
Hence
, proper diet will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health to be active and heal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
all the ailments they have in their body.

Another point to consider is that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save the surroundings.
In other words
, by eliminating animal products will improvise the biodiversity and it will
naturally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
from environment hazardous problems.
Also
, consuming the vegetables grown in local farm aid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
the deforestation.
For instance
, in India, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to eat organic foods and
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
the intake of meat or other animal products which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to stay fit and healthy.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consuming farm grown things and eliminating animal items will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
the atmosphere for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
.

In conclusion
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that consuming nutrient food is a crucial thing for vigorous survival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lowers the physical problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
rescue the natural resources.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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