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Earlier technological developments offered more benefits to ordinary people than the current ones over will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Earlier technological developments offered more benefits to ordinary people than the current ones over will. 0E3gB
Normal human took more advantages of technology in the past than of the one recently introduced. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this statement because modern technology assists human not only at work or study but also after work. To begin with, people receive considerable support from present-day technology at work. Current devices utilised at work are much more functional compared to the past. Those extra functions will help workers in coping with their daily tasks in a more flexible and sensible way, which will boost working effectivity as well as worker’s satisfaction at workplace. Take calculating for example, while in the past, only simple calculations can be done by the computer, nowadays, microsoft exel has helped people a lot by providing different formulae that can process exceptionally complex calculations within a few seconds. Beside its benefit at work, the latest technology can comfy people’s off-duty life as it can and provide people with more satisfying forms of entertaiment. This is because recent companies can employ advancements in technology to make customer experience optimised by recording and analysing their customers’ bahaviours to figure out their hobby and personality to suggest them the most suitable and personalized products. In addition, modern technolody can liberate people from manual household chores. This will provide them more time at home which will help them to re-energise themselves and indulge in activities that they genuinely enjoy. For example, while the munually operated vacuum had made cleaning the house easier, the recent robotic vacuum can set people completely free from such duty. In conclusion, previous technological development does not outperform the recent one as people can exploit the contemporary technology at work as well as for their personal life during their time off.
Normal human took more advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the past than of the one recently introduced. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
assists human not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
after work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receive considerable support from present-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Current
devices
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are much more functional compared to the past. Those extra functions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
workers in coping with their daily tasks in a more flexible and sensible way, which will boost working effectivity
as well
as worker’s satisfaction at workplace. Take calculating
for example
, while in the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
simple calculations can
be done
by the computer, nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake found.
microsoft
Possible spelling mistake found.
exel
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a lot by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
formulae that can process
exceptionally
complex calculations within a few seconds.

Beside its benefit at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can comfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
off-duty life as it can and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more satisfying forms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertaiment
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can employ advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
customer experience
Possible spelling mistake. 'optimised' is British English.
optimised
by recording and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
their customers’
Possible spelling mistake found.
bahaviours
to figure out their hobby and personality to suggest them the most suitable and personalized products.
In addition
, modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
technolody
can liberate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from manual household chores. This will provide them more time at home which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
Possible spelling mistake. 're-energise' is British English.
re-energise
themselves and indulge in activities that they
genuinely
enjoy.
For example
, while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
munually
operated vacuum had made cleaning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
easier, the recent robotic vacuum can set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
completely free from such duty.

In conclusion
, previous technological development does not outperform the recent one as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can exploit the contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as for their personal life during their time off.
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IELTS essay Earlier technological developments offered more benefits to ordinary people than the current ones over will.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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