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Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. v. 5
It is considered by some that earlier advances in technology have had a greater impact on human life than the recent changes. I totally support this belief for the two following reasons. Firstly, many earlier technologies help people change the way they live. One illustration originated from the fact that the telephone invention has changed the way we communicate. Particularly, the telephone has made communication more efficient and faster. After it is invented, people can connect to others from different locations in a shorter time. The light bulb is another example proved that earlier technologies can improve our quality of life. Before it was introduced, people relied on sunlight and candles as main light sources. The invention of light bulb enables people to extend the length of days. In other words, it allows us to do more activities after sunset such as working, studying or socialising, thus increase life quality and productivity. Secondly, it is indisputable that most modern technologies are developed based on earlier invention. For instance, smart phones were upgraded from mobile phones, and mobile phones were evolved from telephones. In addition, some early technologies cannot be replaced by the modern ones. Specifically, although there are many recent medical breakthroughs, some traditional techniques are still effective and cannot be replaced. Specifically, X-rays, which was discovered over one hundred years ago, still remains a crucial role in helping doctors to diagnose and treat some diseases. In conclusion, the benefits of earlier technology development are too great to ignore. It not only improves human life, but also holds a key to a number of modern technological innovations.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have had a greater impact on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than the recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. I
totally
support this belief for the two following reasons.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. One illustration originated from the fact that the telephone invention has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we communicate.
Particularly
, the telephone has made communication more efficient and faster. After it
is invented
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect to others from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations in a shorter time. The light bulb is another example proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
it
was introduced
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relied on sunlight and candles as main light sources. The invention of light bulb enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to extend the length of days.
In other words
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to do more activities after sunset such as working, studying or
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
,
thus
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality and productivity.

Secondly
, it is indisputable that most modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are developed
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
invention.
For instance
, smart phones
were upgraded
from mobile phones, and mobile phones
were evolved
from telephones.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
cannot
be replaced
by the modern ones.
Specifically
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recent medical breakthroughs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional techniques are
still
effective and cannot
be replaced
.
Specifically
, X-rays, which
was discovered
over one hundred years ago,
still
remains a crucial role in helping doctors to diagnose and treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases.

In conclusion
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
development are too great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
holds a key to a number of modern technological innovations.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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