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Earlier developments in technology brought more benefits to change the lives of ordinary people than recent ones do now. Do you agree or disagree?

Earlier developments in technology brought more benefits to change the lives of ordinary people than recent ones do now. KVJrR
During the decades, there are debates on the impact of technology in our lives. There is now, an opinion, which I strongly disagree with, asserted that basic technologies such as electricity, are more beneficial than recent ones. Back in the time, human needs were an instinct for invention. Wheel, electricity and telephone are the direct and sufficient answers of a nation need. These breakthrough technologies helped our ancestors to live in a more sustainable situation while using their imaginations and creativity to build a better future. There is a general idea, explained that we were primitives without these inventions but, do we need them as much as past centuries is a moral question that we should ask ourselves. As it is obvious, modern technologies increased the efficacy of those earlier developments. More specifically, the idea of using the internet was raw and the accessibility to the people were low at the first step but, nowadays with the help of improved hardware and software infrastructures, the idea of connecting human nations changed completely at it seems to be easier. The other possible explanation is through the life stream of individuals. Artificial intelligence, as the main result of a modern era, is the undeniable part of recent novelties. Cell phones, home appliances and even automobiles have the ability to think and manage our lives in an organised and much easier way. In conclusion, although these improvements are seems to be minor considering the past decades and it’s breakthrough changes on that era, such as invention of wheel or electricity, I strongly criticise this point of view because are out dated and possibly useless with recent modifications.
During the decades, there are debates on the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, an opinion, which I
strongly
disagree with, asserted that basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as electricity, are more beneficial than recent ones.

Back in the time, human needs were an instinct for invention. Wheel, electricity and telephone are the direct and sufficient answers of a nation need. These breakthrough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
our ancestors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a more sustainable situation while using their imaginations and creativity to build a better future. There is a general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that we were primitives without these inventions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, do we need them as much as past centuries is a moral question that we should ask ourselves.

As it is obvious, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
increased the efficacy of those earlier developments. More
specifically
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of using the internet was raw and the accessibility to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were low at the
first
step
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, nowadays with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
hardware and software infrastructures, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of connecting human nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely at it seems to be easier. The other possible explanation is through the life stream of individuals. Artificial intelligence, as the main result of a modern era, is the undeniable part of recent novelties. Cell phones, home appliances and even automobiles have the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and manage our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
and much easier way.

In conclusion
, although these improvements are seems to be minor considering the past decades and it’s breakthrough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on that era, such as invention of wheel or electricity, I
strongly
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticise' is British English.
criticise
this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
are out dated and
possibly
useless with recent modifications.
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IELTS essay Earlier developments in technology brought more benefits to change the lives of ordinary people than recent ones do now.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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