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Each year more and more students choose to study online. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Each year more and more students choose to study online. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? pX8My
Nowadays, there are improving technology tools and exploring new teaching techniques because of this, the students opt to learn their lessons through online. I believe that there are more benefits of learning online than drawbacks towards learning online. It is considerably obvious that there are numerous benefits of learning online. First of all, one of which is they can study their lesson at home. During this years, human beings are facing from disease outbreak such as COVID-19 pandemic and the Government enforces the law to produce the statement of Stay at Home order to prevent disease transmission. Because of this, most of the teaching mechanisms are changing from face to face interaction to online learning system. The students can learn their lesson through online portal systems and stay safe at home. Another obvious benefit is that they can study back their lessons anytime and anywhere because most of the lectures are recorded and uploaded in portal. Nevertheless, there are minor drawbacks effects of learning online. First and foremost, students should have accessed the online portal systems. Without the assessment code, students cannot enter the portal and because of the technical issues, there might be more spent time to reach to the portal. Even at a glance, the students should need more screen time to their computer. Due to more screen time, students might need updated screen protection materials to prevent damage to their eyes. They might need some extra cost for buying these. As a result, they can suffer from sore their eyes and they might need spectacles. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that studying online can bring about significant benefits regarding studying at home and can learn anytime and anywhere through online portal systems rather than some negligible drawbacks that might bring.
Nowadays, there are improving technology tools and exploring new teaching techniques
because of this
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opt to learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. I believe that there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
than drawbacks towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
online.

It is
considerably
obvious that there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of which is they can study their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
at home. During
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this years
, human beings are facing from disease outbreak such as COVID-19 pandemic and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
enforces the law to produce the statement of Stay at Home order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
disease transmission.
Because of this
, most of the teaching mechanisms are changing from face to face interaction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
portal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
and stay safe at home. Another obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that they can study back their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
anytime and anywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the lectures
are recorded
and uploaded in portal.

Nevertheless
, there are minor drawbacks effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have accessed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
portal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
. Without the assessment code,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot enter the portal and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technical issues, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be more spent time to reach to the portal. Even at a glance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more screen time to their computer. Due to more screen time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
updated screen protection materials to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
damage to their eyes. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra cost for buying these.
As a result
, they can suffer from sore their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
eyes and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
spectacles.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can bring about significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
regarding studying at home and can learn anytime and anywhere through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
portal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negligible drawbacks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
bring.
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IELTS essay Each year more and more students choose to study online. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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