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Most of people hope that they can hold sporting competitions in their own countries, while others believe that it may cause problems. Discuss both sides.

Most of people hope that they can hold sporting competitions in their own countries, while others believe that it may cause problems. Qwx69
Sports play an indispensable role in all people life by playing physical activities and creating cognitive skills by consoles. Although some people thought that conducting sports event in their own nations is good for society, others feel it will cause issues to the hosting country. In this essay, I will outline both the views why some people are advocate to this event and some are not support this affairs. Olympic event brings two main things to the hosting nations. As the main reason people will develop their sporting interest because they have some advocate from government which will enhance citizens growth in specific games. Neeraj, for instance, he just watch Olympic games live in his own country and then he got interested to the running games, moreover, he attempted next event and won the gold medal which is creating name for his country. In addition, hosting countries not only develop citizens interest to games by conducting big sport affairs, but also increase tourism to their own county. In other words, visitors and tourists will come to the hosting nations which will increase money to government and their local citizens. Government, for instance, earn wealth by issuing visa to other countries citizens and local people increase wealth by providing accommodation and making restaurant to the visitors. Therefore, these events are beneficial for both government and their citizens. Despite that, these are having tremendous drawbacks. Mainly, safety and security for all the people from other nations and their own citizens. In other words, players are highly professional and they are the priceless asset for every countries provided that anything happen to them then all countries will oppose the hosting country. Another valid reason is conducting country spending large amount of money by creating big stadium and making safety accommodation to the players and tourists. Thus, hosting country not only throwing large amount of money to conduct this big event, but also wasting their military troops to provide the safety for this event. In conclusion, many people think that hosting sports affairs are essential, but others feel these are creating numerous issues. Hence, hosting country develop games interest to their citizens and also make money by conducting this event, however, there are some issues like safety and security to the hosting country, players from other nations and tourists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
play an indispensable role in all
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people
life by playing physical activities and
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creating
cognitive
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skills
by consoles. Although
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
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conducting
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sports
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event
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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nations
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for society, others feel it will cause issues to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In this essay, I will outline both the views why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
are advocate to this
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event
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not support
Did you mean "these"?
this
affairs.

Olympic
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event
brings two main things to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. As the main reason
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people
will develop their sporting interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate from
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government
which will enhance
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citizens
growth in specific
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games
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neeraj
,
for instance
, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "watches", "watched".
watch
Olympic
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games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
then he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
interested to the running
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games
,
moreover
, he attempted
next
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event
and won the gold medal which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creating
name for his
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country
.
In addition
,
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hosting
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countries
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop
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citizens
interest to
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games
by
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conducting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
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sport
affairs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase tourism to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
county. In
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other
words, visitors and tourists will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
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nations
which will increase
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money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and their local
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citizens
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
,
for instance
, earn wealth by issuing visa to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and local
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people
increase wealth by providing accommodation and making restaurant to the visitors.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are beneficial for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and their citizens.

Despite that, these are having tremendous drawbacks.
Mainly
,
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safety
and security for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. In
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other
words, players are
highly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
professional and
they are the priceless asset for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
provided that anything happen to them then all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will oppose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Another valid reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
spending large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
stadium and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
accommodation to the players and tourists.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
throwing large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to conduct this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
wasting their military troops to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
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sports
affairs are essential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others feel these are
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creating
numerous issues.
Hence
,
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hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
interest to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducting
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and security to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, players from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and tourists.
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IELTS essay Most of people hope that they can hold sporting competitions in their own countries, while others believe that it may cause problems.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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