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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

People have various options in order to do shopping. Some people state that the growth of supermarket chains will affect the survival of small villages as a result of the disappearance of in-town businesses. This essay argues that local people will continue buying at their local stores and that a village´s economy is not fully dependent on supermarkets. Big food chains represent a threat to local grocery shops but only to partial extent. Due to the fact that grocery shops within villages usually offer artisanal products, are cheaper and closer, local people will continue buying in those places. To illustrate, women will continue to shop with their local greengrocer because those places often offer fresher and less expensive products AROUND THE CORNER. Supermarkets will most likely become just another option where individuals can buy their products. Supermarkets might contribute to the disappearance of local food shops, however, this trend will not bring the death of local communities because towns are not only dependent on these kinds of businesses for their survival. In fact, a great number of small villages employ people in the service and tourism sectors. For example, the community around San Juan Teotihuacan in Mexico mainly works in restaurants, hotels or sells local crafts to tourists. Villagers are often creative and adapt their jobs to the economic opportunities available. People are able to buy the items they need in a number of places. Although supermarket chains might leave some local businesses broke, they will not harm town´s economies as a whole.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have various options in order to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that the growth of supermarket chains will affect the survival of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
as a result
of the disappearance of in-town businesses. This essay argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue buying at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores and that a
The character between 'village' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "village’s" (curly apostrophe) or "village's" (straight apostrophe).
village´s
economy is not
fully
dependent on supermarkets.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
food chains represent a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to partial extent. Due to the fact that grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
usually
offer artisanal products, are cheaper and closer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue buying in those places. To illustrate, women will continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
greengrocer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
offer fresher and less expensive products AROUND THE CORNER. Supermarkets will most likely become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
another option where individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their products.

Supermarkets might contribute to the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
,
however
, this trend will not bring the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
towns are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
dependent on these kinds of businesses for their survival. In fact, a great number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the service and tourism sectors.
For example
, the community around San Juan Teotihuacan in Mexico
mainly
works in restaurants, hotels or sells
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
crafts to tourists. Villagers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
creative and adapt their jobs to the economic opportunities available.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the items they need in a number of places. Although supermarket chains might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses broke, they will not harm
The character between 'town' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "town’s" (curly apostrophe) or "town's" (straight apostrophe).
town´s
economies as a whole.
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IELTS essay 3. Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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