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Due to development and rapid expansion in some countries, many small business are unable to compete. Some people thinks closure of local business will bring about death to local communities. To what extent do you agree v.2

Due to development and rapid expansion in some countries, many small business are unable to compete. Some people thinks closure of local business will bring about death to local communities. 2
Over the years, evolvement and growth of shopping malls has results to retreat of petty trade in some districts. It is believed by certain people that the shutdown of these small firms will lead to extinction of the local suburbs. While establishment of supermarkets negatively affect the sales of small firms, I somewhat disagree it would fazed out the locality because shopping malls provide job opportunities for the inhabitants, also huge tax is being paid to develop the welfare of the community. To begin, it is noteworthy that small scale business plays a vital role in the development of the community. The increase trend of shopping mall has significantly reduce the patronage of local stores by customers, thereby reducing revenues generated by these petty traders. To elucidate, these companies acquire goods at lower prices from the manufacturers and sell to the consumers at cheaper rates. This ultimately renders the small scale market redundant because the consumers prefers to trade at low prices. Therefore, the local enterprise are incapacitated to contribute to the development of the community due to low income. Nevertheless, the set up of a shopping venture provides more job opportunities to the occupant of the community. A large scale business requires high level of workmanship compared to small scale business. A research work carried out in 2018 by Oyo state group of business owners revealed that shopping outlets creates about 10, 000 job opportunities yearly within the metropolis. Futhermore, these stores are charged with huge tax, this high level are used for development of the district. To sum up, the increase trend of supermarkets is negatively affecting the thrive of small scale business. I partially disagree that this development will lead to the extinction of local communities because large scale business contributes to the growth of the community by providing job opportunities and paying huge tax which is used for the development of the community welfare.
Over the years,
Possible spelling mistake found.
evolvement
and growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls has results to retreat of petty trade in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
districts. It
is believed
by certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the shutdown of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
firms will lead to extinction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
suburbs. While establishment of supermarkets
negatively
affect the sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
firms, I somewhat disagree it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "faze"
fazed
out the locality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for the inhabitants,
also
huge tax is
being paid
to develop the welfare of the community.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it is noteworthy that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
plays a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. The increase trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall has
significantly
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "reduced".
reduce
the patronage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores by customers, thereby reducing revenues generated by these petty traders. To elucidate, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at lower prices from the manufacturers and sell to the consumers at cheaper rates. This
ultimately
renders the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
market redundant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the consumers prefers to trade at low prices.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
enterprise
are incapacitated
to contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
due to low income.

Nevertheless
, the set up of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
venture provides more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to the occupant of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. A large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
requires high level of workmanship compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. A research work carried out in 2018 by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oyo
state group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
outlets creates about 10, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
yearly within the metropolis.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, these stores
are charged
with huge tax, this high level are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the district.

To sum up, the increase trend of supermarkets is
negatively
affecting
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'thrive' is correct. If 'thrive' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the thrive
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. I
partially
disagree that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
will lead to the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
contributes to the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and paying huge tax which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
welfare.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Due to development and rapid expansion in some countries, many small business are unable to compete. Some people thinks closure of local business will bring about death to local communities. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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