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Drawback of technology devices

Drawback of technology devices j8oGM
It is true that mobile phones have had an influence on people nowaday. There are many drawbacks by harnessing technology equipment. Firstly, technology devices make citizens lack social connections. It means that everyone has less direct interaction together. Instead of choosing face-to-face conservation, they concentrate on their smartphone. For a long time, inhabitants won't know how to communicate in real words and increase the distance between people. For instance: although everyone meets at milk tea shops to talk together, They just focus on laptops or cell phones. Therefore users will become depressed and afraid to communicate. They will lose a strong relationship with someone. Furthermore, it has a devastating effect on the user's health. When citizens are stuck behind a computer, they feel headache and sore eyes from computer fatigue. If people have heavy exposure to technology devices, it will cause insomnia by green light. For a long time, users won’t achieve work-life balance. Another, people approach harmful contents or porn orphic images in films easily, especially students and children. They will steal children's innocence. In conclusion, mobile phone will make users become addicted and lead to health decline.
It is true that mobile phones have had an influence on
people
nowaday
. There are
many
drawbacks by harnessing technology equipment.

Firstly
, technology devices
make
citizens lack social connections. It means that everyone has less direct interaction together.
Instead
of choosing face-to-face conservation, they concentrate on their smartphone. For a long time, inhabitants won't know how to communicate in real words and increase the distance between
people
.
For instance
: although everyone meets at milk tea shops to talk together, They
just
focus on laptops or cell phones.
Therefore
users will become depressed and afraid to communicate. They will lose a strong relationship with someone.

Furthermore
, it has a devastating effect on the user's health. When citizens
are stuck
behind a computer, they feel headache and sore eyes from computer fatigue. If
people
have heavy exposure to technology devices, it will cause insomnia by green light. For a long time, users won’t achieve work-life balance. Another,
people
approach harmful contents or porn
orphic
images in films
easily
,
especially
students and children. They will steal children's innocence.

In conclusion
, mobile phone will
make
users become addicted and lead to health decline.
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IELTS essay Drawback of technology devices

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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