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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v.8

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 8
Many parents believe that reading at an early age is good for children. But, research has suggested that instead of making the kids read from the beginning, they should be encouraged to do fun activities, which is actually proving beneficial in every way. I completely agree with this statement, and all the reasons for its support will be covered in this essay. Many people believe that at an early age kids should start studying because they grasp everything at this age very quickly. But, in most cases, it is seen, that children shall never be forced to read or study if they are not interested. If a child is not interested in reading, he will do it half-heartedly, which will result in learning only a few of the things. But, in case the kids are interested in doing some fun activities which actually help them boost their creativity or imagination this will lead them to be more enthusiastic and creative. We should start supporting our kids in doing enjoyable activities so that they can learn things quickly and also make them learn new things through different activities. This will not only help them to become more energetic and flexible, but also help them sharpen their minds in many different ways. Therefore, entertaining activities can lead children to think in a creative manner, but also help them showcase their hidden talent resulting, them to start enjoying learning new things. To conclude, kids should be motivated to start reading from an early age. However, with the help of fun activities, they can become more creative and imaginative. In addition, they will enjoy exploring new things and also might find their hidden talent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents believe that reading at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, research has suggested that
instead
of making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
read from the beginning, they should
be encouraged
to do fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, which is actually proving beneficial in every way. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, and all the reasons for its support will
be covered
in this essay.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they grasp everything at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
in most cases
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, that children shall never
be forced
to read or study if they are not interested. If a child is not interested in reading, he will do it half-
heartedly
, which will result in learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few of the things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in case the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are interested
in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them boost their creativity or imagination this will lead them to be more enthusiastic and creative.

We should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
supporting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in doing enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can learn things
quickly
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them learn new things through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to become more energetic and flexible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them sharpen their minds in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
Therefore
, entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can lead children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider replacing "in a creative manner" with the adverb for "creative"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a creative manner
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them showcase their hidden talent resulting, them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
enjoying learning new things.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
reading from an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
However
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they can become more creative and imaginative.
In addition
, they will enjoy exploring new things and
also
might find their hidden talent.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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