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Does school still belong to us?

Does school still belong to us? R0AxM
Whether single-sex schools render more benefits than mixed school settings has sparked a heated debate. Some people affirm that students in male or female-only schools have better chances for academic achievements, whereas many others argue that co-ed schools offer students better social skills for their future. Personally, I am in favour of the latter view. Admittedly, single-sex schools have fewer distractions. The reason for this is if a school has only boys or girls, students would not be distracted by members of the opposite sex at school; hence, they can focus on their learning. Even so, these students still have access to the other gender after school, which means in reality, they must meet the other gender anyway. Consequently, the benefits of single-sex schools are quite limited. On the contrary, convincing arguments can be made that mixed schools provide a more comprehensive learning environment for children. To start with, students studying at mixed schools have more chances to communicate with members of the opposite sex. In other words, children learn how to talk to the other gender at an early age; therefore, their social skills would certainly be fostered. Moreover, mixed schools give students opportunities to deal with conflicts with the other gender, which strengthens students’ problem-solving skills. For instance, when a boy has a conflict with a girl at school, both of them must learn how to cope. This lesson must be learned sooner or later; as a result, students benefit more if they can learn it sooner. Finally, mixed schools provide students with a real-life scenario where both genders co-exist. Specifically, students can learn in an organic environment in which boys and girls must know how to interact with each other. In conclusion, I would concede that single-sex schools have some advantages. Despite that, combined schools certainly support students in a much better way. Overall, I am convinced that students should go to mixed schools for better professional, social and adult life.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
render more benefits than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
settings has sparked a heated debate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
affirm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in male or female-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chances for academic achievements, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others argue that co-ed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their future.
Personally
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the latter view.

Admittedly
, single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have fewer distractions.
The reason for this is
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boys or girls,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would not
be distracted
by members of the opposite sex at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
;
hence
, they can focus on their learning. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
still
have access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
gender after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which means in reality, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
gender anyway.
Consequently
, the benefits of single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are quite limited.

On the contrary
, convincing arguments can
be made
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide a more comprehensive learning environment for children. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have more chances to communicate with members of the opposite sex. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to talk to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
gender at an early age;
therefore
, their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
would
certainly
be fostered
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opportunities to deal with conflicts with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
gender, which strengthens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, when a boy has a conflict with a girl at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, both of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to cope. This lesson
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be learned
sooner or later;
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
benefit more if they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it sooner.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a real-life scenario where both genders co-exist.
Specifically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in an organic environment in which boys and girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know how to interact with each other.

In conclusion
, I would concede that single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages. Despite that, combined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
certainly
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way.
Overall
, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
professional, social and adult life.
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IELTS essay Does school still belong to us?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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