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Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about improving their health. Do you agree with this?

Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about improving their health. Do you agree with this? lrqb
A section of societies believe that doctors plays a fundamental role in order to make their patients body healthier; however, I considered to be this notion as completely flawed. This is owing to fact that families and governments are more responsible to enhance individuals health. To begin with, people's healthy diet plans are being influenced by the advertisements running by higher authorities. This is to say, a number of official governing bodies can show products of higher nutritional content value, particularly cheese and butter; consequently, more people could forg out on quality products which will draw a perfect line between work and line. Moreover, governments should also provide free training programs and recreational facilities, for example, gym and sports area to carry out exercises. To exemplify, a survey conducted by 'the Hindu' newspaper suggested that had the indian government not given free access to do yoga on regular basis, then vast population including mid 40s and old aged group would not have been taken part on that. Furthermore, extensive families are one of the most effective way to resolve the issue of improving well-being. Individual traits and behaviors are well-known by their parents. They can assess person in appropriate approach how to spend quality time on health. For instance, parents should encourage children to intervene in sports field and extraciricular activities in order to maintain health. In conclusion, the only responsibility of doctors to improve health would be irresponsible action as combination of government and personal members is wise way to deal with this problem.
A section of societies
believe
that doctors plays a fundamental role in order to
make
their patients body healthier;
however
, I considered to be this notion as completely flawed. This is owing to fact that families and
governments
are more responsible to enhance individuals health.

To
begin
with,
people
's healthy diet plans are
being influenced
by the advertisements running by higher authorities. This is to say, a number of official governing bodies can
show
products of higher nutritional content value,
particularly
cheese and butter;
consequently
, more
people
could
forg out
on quality products which will draw a perfect line between work and line.
Moreover
,
governments
should
also
provide free training programs and recreational facilities,
for example
, gym and sports area to carry out exercises. To exemplify, a survey conducted by 'the Hindu' newspaper suggested that had the
indian
government
not
given
free access to do yoga on regular basis, then vast population including mid 40s and
old
aged group would not have
been taken
part on that.

Furthermore
, extensive families are one of the most effective
way
to resolve the issue of improving well-being. Individual traits and behaviors are well-known by their parents. They can assess person in appropriate approach how to spend quality time on health.
For instance
, parents should encourage children to intervene in sports field and
extraciricular
activities in order to maintain health.

In conclusion
, the
only
responsibility of doctors to
improve
health would be irresponsible action as combination of
government
and personal members is
wise
way to deal with this problem.
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IELTS essay Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about improving their health. Do you agree with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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