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Some people say that to be successful, you need to get university education, whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion

Some people say that to be successful, you need to get university education, whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion kdjN
Education is one of the crucial keys to success in life. There are several people who claim that academic knowledge is necessary to be succeed, on the other hand few mankind does not believe in that thought. There are few reasons to have good knowledge of specific field. If one can have essential education of major subjects then it is difficult to compete those humankind who having education knowledge for those people who doesn’t having a university education. People with higher education mastery is more beneficial. For instance, individuals can get more opportunities for jobs in certain field. In addition, human beings who study in universities are able to faces both success and failure from a lot of projects during their academic term, and there are professors who guiding them in right direction, whereas others have to try many things by themselves, sometimes this situation lead to failure in particular things and people also loses their self-confidence. Thus, the way of success is might be slower for those who deciding not to get university education. However, there are plenty of wealthy people who are victorious in their life without having a university education. Persons in these groups indicates that everything is depends on our own efforts, self-discipline, life ethics and skills that result into a success by our hands. One American writer say in his article that the FANG(Facebook, Apple, Netflix, Google) and many more tech giant companies doesn’t require any education degree to get the job. If one can having suitable expertise according to companies requirements they can provide a good job to right candidate even if they doesn’t having any college degree. For example, billionaire Elon Musk who doesn’t having any kind of educational degree in spite of that he currently running too many companies such as Tesla, Space X, Pay-pal. In the end university education can not indicates our success in future. In conclusion, personally, I think that we should get into university education. Nevertheless, we can’t depend only on university education but also doing something out of the box to be successful in life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is one of the crucial keys to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life. There are several

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
claim that academic knowledge is necessary to be
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
, on the

other hand
Possible agreement error. The noun mankind seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little mankind".
few mankind
does not believe in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

There are few reasons to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge of specific field. If one can

have essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of major subjects then it is difficult to compete
Did you mean "this humankind" or ""?
those humankind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
knowledge for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
doesn
’t

having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
mastery is more

beneficial.
For instance
, individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunities for jobs in certain

field.
In addition
, human beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are able to faces both

success and failure from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
projects during their academic term, and there

are professors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
guiding them in right direction, whereas others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things by themselves,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this situation lead to failure
in particular


things and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
loses their self-confidence.
Thus
, the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is

might be slower for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
deciding not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are victorious in their life

without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Persons in these groups indicates that

everything is depends on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
efforts, self-discipline, life ethics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that

result into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by our hands. One American writer say in his article that the

FANG(Facebook, Apple, Netflix, Google) and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more tech giant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies


doesn’t require any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degree to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job. If one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
suitable

expertise according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
requirements they can provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job to

right candidate even if they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don’t"
doesn’t
The verb 'doesn't' requires base form of this verb: "have"
having
any college degree.
For example
,

billionaire Elon Musk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
any kind of educational degree in spite

of that he
currently
running too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Tesla,
Did you mean "SpaceX" (= aerospace company)?
Space X
, Pay-pal.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can not
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "indicate"
indicates
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

In conclusion
,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into university

education.
Nevertheless
, we can’t depend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also


doing something out of the box to be successful in life.
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IELTS essay Some people say that to be successful, you need to get university education, whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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