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Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback. Check Your Text it's free Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree?

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback. Check Your Text it's free Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. w9lN
although due to the new epoch plethora of variations are observed in the sports area and to encourage people towards it. sports shows are telecasted on the television but rather than uplifting this view of participating in such activity spectators watch such shows not only for entertainment purposes but also for earning which I articulate n upcoming paragraphs. to begin with, the reason why people are not taking part in sports while watching sports programs that they only prefer to watch them for their entertainment purpose. in other words, proponents have a hectic schedule, and whenever they have leisure time they often watch such programs for relaxation but do not perform that in their real life. for example, according to the recorder survey of university learners about that program, they analyze that 70% of the people watch matches for calm and for removing their stress. thus due to the busy schedule, they only lead the thought to watch them for entertainment. moving further another reason behind this is that the masses watch sporting shows for earning because youth are investing their money in different matches or on teams like cricket, badminton, and many more. so they get to benefit from it. for example, according to the survey on the various team during the match by the support supervisor they reveal that a number of people apply bid on match participants and after winning the match they get hefty benefit from it. hence they watch the match for their own profit not to participate in it. to conclude, people are indulging themselves to watch sports program for their earning as well as for their free time activity, which get relief for them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
due to the new epoch plethora of variations
are observed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
area and to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
on the television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
than uplifting this view of participating in such activity spectators
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment purposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for earning which I articulate n upcoming paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
while watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them for their entertainment purpose.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words, proponents have a hectic schedule, and whenever they have leisure time they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
for relaxation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not perform that in their real life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, according to the recorder survey of university learners about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
, they analyze that 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matches
for calm and for removing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
thus
due to the busy schedule, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them for entertainment.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moving
further
another reason behind this is that the masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
for earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youth are investing their money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matches
or on teams like cricket, badminton, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to benefit from it.
for example
, according to the survey on the various team during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
by the support supervisor they reveal that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
apply bid on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
participants and after winning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hefty benefit from it.
hence
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
profit not to participate in it.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are indulging themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
for their earning
as well
as for their free time activity, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relief for them.
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IELTS essay Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback. Check Your Text it's free Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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