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Do you think the way that parents treat their teens affects the personalities that teens form?

Do you think the way that parents treat their teens affects the personalities that teens form? Pk3Dj
Some people believe that the way parents treat their teens and children's will affect in their personalities and the way of behavior. in my option this statement is compactly true. Since teens' characters haven’t fully shaped, it is possible they follow examples from their family because family such as parents and siblings who are closer to us and psychologically, they are defined as reliable people for us in any situation. According to psychologists Parents don't influence just our looks and beliefs, they also play a role in shaping our personality. Everything from paying us too little attention to being overly protective can all impact the person a teen become. Teens are in the most sensitive age of their lives so Parents must have a positive attention to their teens. Listing to them is the most important thing that parents must do, pay attention to the feelings and listening to them and not abusing them if you are disagree with them. The researches shows that Parents who abuse their teens may cause their teens to be aggressive and rebellious experience learning problems and even become involved in drugs or alcohol. In this way they destroy the inside and outside world of a teen. In conclusion parents' beliefs looks and behaviors impact teens, not in their inside world but also in the outside and negative effect can destroyed them for good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
and children's will affect in their personalities and the way of behavior.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my option this statement is
compactly
true.

Since teens' characters haven’t
fully
shaped, it is possible they follow examples from their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
family such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and siblings who are closer to us and
psychologically
, they
are defined
as reliable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for us in any situation. According to psychologists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
don't influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
our looks and beliefs, they
also
play a role in shaping our personality. Everything from paying us too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention to being
overly
protective can all impact the person a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
become.

Teens are in the most sensitive age of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
. Listing to them is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do, pay attention to the feelings and listening to them and not abusing them if you are
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with them. The researches
You should probably use "show".
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
who abuse their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
may cause their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
to be aggressive and rebellious experience learning problems and even become involved in drugs or alcohol. In this way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the inside and outside world of a teen.

In conclusion
parents' beliefs looks and behaviors impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
, not in their inside world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the outside and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
them for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good

IELTS essay Do you think the way that parents treat their teens affects the personalities that teens form?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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