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Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? B6oa
Technology has enabled us to connect throughout the world using advanced communicational devices and social networking. Today there is a plethora of internet sites that connect people and collect information in the form of profiles. Needless to say, this poses a potential threat as fraudsters can use it against us. In my opinion, the pros of social media definitely outweigh the cons if used responsibly. Some years back people had to rely on limited resources to connect to loved ones or for conducting business. With the advancement in technology, today we can connect and share information with ease. Video’s conferencing facilitates an audio-video experience which is used for casual or formal means of communication. Today we have the luxury of sitting at home and ordering our groceries or shopping for clothes. In addition, there are sites that connect people of similar interests where one can share photos or post some information. For instance, we can create an account on Facebook and start connecting with people instantly. On the other hand, the personal information of individuals is readily available on the internet and can be exploited against anyone. People are so addicted that they post all their information on social sites which can prove to be dangerous. There has been a lot of instances where people have posted their current location using the check-in feature indicating there is no one at home. This information is used by criminals to break into houses and steal. In conclusion, social media is a strong tool which should be used responsibly. All inventions have their advantages and disadvantages, it is up to an individual to use it wisely and make optimum benefit.
Technology has enabled us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
throughout the world using advanced
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicational
devices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
there is a plethora of internet sites that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the form of profiles. Needless to say, this poses a potential threat as fraudsters can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it against us. In my opinion, the pros of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media definitely outweigh the cons if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
responsibly
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
years back
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to rely on limited resources to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones or for conducting business. With the advancement in technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
and share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. Video’s conferencing facilitates an audio-video experience which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for casual or formal means of communication.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we have the luxury of sitting at home and ordering our groceries or shopping for clothes.
In addition
, there are sites that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of similar interests where one can share photos or post
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
For instance
, we can create an account on Facebook and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
connecting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instantly
.

On the other hand
, the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of individuals is
readily
available on the internet and can
be exploited
against anyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addicted that they post all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites which can prove to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. There has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
instances where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have posted their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
location using the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-in feature indicating there is no one at home. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by criminals to break into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and steal.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media is a strong tool which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
responsibly
. All inventions have their advantages and disadvantages, it is up to an individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wisely
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
optimum benefit.
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IELTS essay Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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