Search
Tools
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? NaqW

In this present age, an advancement of healthcare's technology makes people tend to live longer therefore more elder persons in our society. However, there has been discussion involving around this issue of whether how can aging society be managed. Personally, I tend to believe that governments can handle with this situation and I will explain my own solutions regard to this subject in the following sections. First and foremost, government should play a key role in effort to create job opportunities for the elder or extend period of retirement thus elderly people still has job. Taking Japan as an example, it is obvious that there are many job functions in Japan which operate by this group of people such as ticket office at train stations. Due to the fact that selling train tickets is not required a good health of body muscels and ability of working outdoor in a hot temperature so it is safe for elderly people to work in this area. Secondly, government should provide some stimulus packages for older people which can help to reduce an overall household expenditures. Besides, from my experience, older people will feel that they have their own money and they are not a burdensome of their offsprings so that they can live happy, stay healthy and far from money related problems within family. In conclusion, increasing in number of aging population will be not a majority issue of the society. I would suggest that government should have suitable plans to deal with it in the near future

In this present age, an advancement of healthcare's technology This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createsconstructsmanufacturesproduces
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 tend to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reside
live
 longer therefore
Use only "elder" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.elder
more elder
 persons in our society. However
, there has been discussion involving around this issue of whether how can aging society be managed
. Personally
, I tend to believe that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
governments
 can handle with this situation and I will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :interpret
explain
 my This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 solutions regard to this subject in the following sections.

First
 and foremost, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
 should play a key role in effort to create job opportunities for the elder or extend period of retirement thus
 elderly You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
still
 has job. Taking Japan as an example, it is obvious that there are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 job functions in Japan which operate by this group of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 such as ticket office at train stations. Due to the fact that selling train tickets is not required a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 health of body Possible spelling mistake found.musclesmussels
muscels
 and ability of working outdoor in a hot temperature This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 it is safe for elderly You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 to work in this area.

Secondly
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
 should provide This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 stimulus packages for older You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 which can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :alleviate
reduce
 an overall
 household Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "expenditure"?expenditure
expenditures
. Besides
, from my experience, older You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 will feel that they have their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).money, and
money and
 they are not The phrase 'a burdensome of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a burdensome of
 their Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?offspringoff springs
offsprings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that they can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reside
live
 happy, stay healthy and far from money related problems within family.

In conclusion
, A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.increasing
increasing in number
 of aging population will be not a majority issue of the society. I would suggest that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpowerministryunionauthoritystaterule
government
 should have suitable plans to deal with it in the near Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphfuture.future!future?future:future,future;
future