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Do you think that people who work online at home are more productive than office workers or the other way around? Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Do you think that people who work online at home are more productive than office workers or the other way around? Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
In the past, working with colleagues at the office has become very familiar, but that habit has recently begun to change, especially after the outbreak of covid19 and technology 4. 0. People have gotten used to working online. In my opinion, working from home brings more positive and effective changes in the lives of employees than people working in a traditional environment. This essay will discuss this before coming to a conclusion. Nowadays, technology is growing and the way of work is also very different from the past, typically online work is becoming a worldwide trend and will reshape work culture. We can arrange a time to work proactively depending on each person's situation. If any problems happen, we can solve it directly without going to the workplace. On the other hand, working online requires high self-awareness and we frequently have to handle the task alone. For example: for those who have families often take up most of their all day and they have a very little moment to spend with family. But if they can do tasks from home, they feel more comfortable that they can balance the time both sides lead to higher job efficiency. In addition, working online will be beneficial for people who are far away from the place of work, help people save time on the move and as a result, reduce traffic jams and have more time for other things. Also, the agency saved quite a lot of rent for its workspace and minimized the possibility of the disease spreading. For example, a Japanese employee, one day they will average 2 hours on the train, they will take 40 hours a month. By that time, they can learn new lessons that will improve their skills instead of just moving. In short, I think that working online will be very helpful for businesses and employees. However, before working online, both parties should agree on a working method to restrict the risks arising.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with colleagues at the office has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
familiar,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that habit has recently begun to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
especially
after the outbreak of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid19
and technology 4. 0.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have gotten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home brings more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of employees than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a traditional environment. This essay will discuss this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

Nowadays, technology is growing and the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the past,
typically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is becoming a worldwide trend and will reshape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture. We can arrange a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
proactively
depending on each person's situation. If any problems
Possible spelling mistake found.
happen
, we can solve it
directly
without going to the workplace.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
requires high
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
self-awareness and
we
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
handle the
Possible spelling mistake found.
task
alone.
For example
: for those who have families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take up most of their all
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
moment to spend with family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if they can do tasks from home, they feel more comfortable that they can balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
both sides lead to higher job efficiency.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are far away from the place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic jams and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other things.
Also
, the agency saved quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
rent for its workspace and minimized the possibility of the disease spreading.
For example
, a Japanese employee, one day they will average 2 hours on the train, they will take 40 hours a month. By that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
learn
new lessons that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
moving.

In short, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for businesses and employees.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, both parties should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
method to
Possible spelling mistake found.
restrict
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
arising.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that people who work online at home are more productive than office workers or the other way around? Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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