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.Do you think teenagers nowadays suffer from more stress and pressure than teenagers in the past? Why?/ Why not?

. Do you think teenagers nowadays suffer from more stress and pressure than teenagers in the past? Why? / Why not? K0bw6
As the society develops, the demand in all aspects increase. Therefore, not only adults but also teenagers will have more stress and pressure, and of course more than in the past. The first reason is the pressure of studying. Many parents always want their children to get good grades, expect them to be too high for their true abilities and force them to study too much. A common phenomenon among parents these days is always comparing their child’s test scores with their classmates. This not only makes the children feel pressured and burdened, but also indirectly cracks their friendship. For those of you who are better at gifted than academic, they are always nervous when the examination comes. Because no one is born good at studying subjects like Math, Physics or Chemistry, …. . so the fact that their parents always force them to take the entrance exam to a specialized school or class makes them feel like a burden. Moreover, some of you come from troubled lives, they have to help their parents earn money to cover their living as well as to pay tuition fees for themselves. Having to study and earn money at the same time, the pressure is more than double. Last but not least, it’s being bullied at school. In the past few years, this problem has been mentioned many times because of its prevalence and seriousness. Many students are bullied, defamed or body shaming at school for many reasons. This bullying seems to be incomparable to being beaten, but in fact, it leaves a very deep scar in the soul of people, especially young teenagers. Keeping it hidden in the heart but not daring to tell people around makes the situation even more dangerous mentally. The society develops, the demand in all aspects increase and accompanying many dangers; teenagers are very susceptible to pressure, stress and even depression. Therefore, parents, teachers and families always have to pay attention to, talk with and understand them more.
As the society develops, the demand in all aspects increase.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, and
of course
more than in the past.

The
first
reason is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
of studying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always want their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
them to be too high for their true abilities and force them to study too much. A common phenomenon among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
these days is always comparing their child’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
scores with their classmates. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the children feel pressured and burdened,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
indirectly
cracks their friendship. For those of you who are better at gifted than academic, they are always nervous when the examination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
no one
is born
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at studying subjects like Math, Physics or Chemistry, ….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
the fact that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always force them to take the entrance exam to a specialized school or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel like a burden.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from troubled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
earn money to cover their living
as well
as to pay tuition fees for themselves. Having to study and earn money at the same time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
is more than double. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it’s
being bullied
at school. In the past few years, this problem has
been mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its prevalence and seriousness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students
are bullied
, defamed or body shaming at school for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. This bullying seems to be incomparable to
being beaten
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
deep scar in the soul of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Keeping it
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "hid"?
hidden
in the heart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not daring to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the situation even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
mentally.

The society develops, the demand in all aspects increase and accompanying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
susceptible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and even depression.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, teachers and families always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay attention to, talk with and understand them more.
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IELTS essay . Do you think teenagers nowadays suffer from more stress and pressure than teenagers in the past? Why? / Why not?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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