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do you think migration disadvantageous outweigh its advantageous?

do you think migration disadvantageous outweigh its advantageous? Owa97
Basically, having no close acquaintance to have your back is what migrating results in. Migration, as a whole, is followed by a gigantic number of hard-to-endure difficulties. The most important one is, going through everything, all disastrous issues, on your own. Surrounding by no close associate, while you are living in another country, needing someone’s help, is an outcome, you, as an immigrant, confront. Discrimination’s strength, also, has been elevated because of going to another country. Refuging to a developed country, in light of having no compatibility with yours, gives an undeniable power to native populations discriminating. A friend of mine, Ali, 32, an immigrant living in America for seven years, started telling how overpowered discrimination is there. He claimed he was being differentiated from native people in his workplace. I was working overtime but my native colleagues got credit, he said. But he chose to adapt to the circumstance over enduring his incompatible life in his hometown. Although immigration causes the irreparable results, you can approach the peace that you were looking for. Discovering peace, while you are living through an insufferable status quo- famine, poverty, and incompatibility, must be your dream. Immigrating, despite all its consequences, might turn it into reality. Ali, the friend of mine also added, he found what he was long looking for, peace. I had a misconception that being discriminated is not worth it but it utterly is when it comes to today’s inappropriate situation in my country, he said.
Basically
, having no close acquaintance to have your back is what migrating results in. Migration, as a whole,
is followed
by a gigantic number of
hard
-to-endure difficulties. The most
important
one is, going through everything, all disastrous issues, on your
own
. Surrounding by no close associate, while you are living in another
country
, needing someone’s
help
, is an outcome, you, as an immigrant, confront.

Discrimination’s strength,
also
, has
been elevated
because
of going to another
country
.
Refuging
to a developed
country
, in light of having no compatibility with yours, gives an undeniable power to native populations discriminating. A friend of mine, Ali, 32, an immigrant living in America for seven years,
started
telling how overpowered discrimination is there. He claimed he was
being differentiated
from native
people
in his workplace. I was working overtime
but
my native colleagues
got
credit, he said.
But
he chose to adapt to the circumstance over enduring his incompatible life in his hometown.

Although immigration causes the irreparable results, you can approach the peace that you were looking for. Discovering peace, while you are living through an insufferable status quo- famine, poverty, and incompatibility,
must
be your dream. Immigrating, despite all its consequences, might turn it into reality. Ali, the friend of mine
also
added
, he found what he was long looking for, peace. I had a misconception that
being discriminated
is not worth it
but
it
utterly
is when it
comes
to
today
’s inappropriate situation in my
country
, he said.
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IELTS essay do you think migration disadvantageous outweigh its advantageous?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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