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Do you think a big salary is more important than job satisfaction?

Do you think a big salary is more important than job satisfaction? KYro9
Many people believe that making money is more important than job satisfaction. But in my idea job satisfaction is crucial. I do not agree with this statement and will justify it. Job satisfaction is more important because you have inner peace at work, because you have better performance and interaction with coworkers, and because you are happy and cheerful. First and foremost, people who choose their interests perform better, more motivated and more fulfillment. When an employee is comfortable at work, job growth and stability leads them to have inner peace at work. Therefore, doing what you like keeps you cheerful and achieve best results. Second, as an employee you can make a huge difference in your lifestyle when you work with good manager or friendly coworker. It makes your productivity performance and the way you interact with others enormous. Third, we all know that money cannot buy happiness and thinking that you have lost your dream of life makes you mentally depressed. Plus, if they do their job stress free, they make fewer mistakes. In summary, for a high percentage of the population, making money is less important than job satisfaction. I believe, although it’s hard to live without money, but a career that is aspired to make people grow in life.
Many
people
believe that making
money
is more
important
than
job
satisfaction
.
But
in my
idea
job
satisfaction
is crucial. I do not
agree
with this statement and will justify it.
Job
satisfaction
is more
important
because
you have inner peace at
work
,
because
you have better performance and interaction with coworkers, and
because
you are happy and cheerful.

First
and foremost,
people
who choose their interests perform better, more motivated and more fulfillment. When an employee is comfortable at
work
,
job
growth and stability leads them to have inner peace at
work
.
Therefore
, doing what you like
keeps
you cheerful and achieve best results.

Second, as an employee you can
make
a huge difference in your lifestyle when you
work
with
good
manager or friendly coworker. It
makes
your productivity performance and the way you interact with others enormous.

Third, we all know that
money
cannot
buy
happiness and thinking that you have lost your dream of life
makes
you mentally depressed. Plus, if they do their
job
stress
free, they
make
fewer mistakes.

In summary, for a high percentage of the population, making
money
is less
important
than
job
satisfaction
. I believe, although it’s
hard
to
live
without
money
,
but
a career that
is aspired
to
make
people
grow in life.

IELTS essay Do you think a big salary is more important than job satisfaction?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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