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Do you support the idea that we should put an end to the five-day workweek? Why or why not?

Do you support the idea that we should put an end to the five-day workweek? Why or why not? qa13P
People are facing the dilemma of whether or not they have to work too much these days. Working 8 hours per day in many companies in over the world has no strangely ​nowadays. Mental and social consequences of spending too much time on the job. And in the future, how they can change and have increase wages for employees or not? Overwork from dawn to dust or overnight is harsh. These circumstances should be put to an end.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are facing the dilemma of
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work too much these days. Working 8 hours per day in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in over the world has no
strangely
​nowadays. Mental and social consequences of spending too much time on the job. And in the future, how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and have increase wages for employees or not? Overwork from dawn to dust or overnight is harsh. These circumstances should
be put
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

IELTS essay Do you support the idea that we should put an end to the five-day workweek? Why or why not?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
78 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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