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• The best way to address traffic accidents is to ban young drivers from the road. AoD?

• The best way to address traffic accidents is to ban young drivers from the road. AoD? JwAO5
Some people believe that it is the best to solve vehicle crashes by prohibiting youngsters from driving on the road. While this opinion is valid to a certain extent, I believe that there are superior solutions to the problems of traffic accidents. On the one hand, it is understandable why some believe that young drivers should be banned. The reason behind this is that the youth are commonly reckless and aggressive when driving. Thus they may endanger not only themselves but also other drivers on roads. For example, Vietnamese young people who often cross over red lights and drive under the influence of alcohol have caused numerous traffic accidents. In addition, according the survey examined last year, the percentage of youngsters causing accidents on the road by driving speeding accounted for the majority of accidents registered. This example goes to show how it is beneficial when young drivers are banned from driving on the road. On the other hand, I personally believe that the settlement of traffic accidents might be improved by the following solutions. There are two main measures. Firstly, that is the government should enforce some policies of punishment when driving on roads. Furthermore, the families also need to educate about traffic safety for their children. For instance, when having stricter punishments, they cannot have enough money to pay a traffic fine. Therefore they might control their personalities when attending traffic. Meanwhile, with promoting awareness of safe traffic, they would know degree danger of consequences which they caused. One of the most terrible is that they have to face the death, what is mentioning is that causes death for innocent people. It is rather clear to some extent, this may advantage in dealing with traffic accidents. In conclusion, while banning young drivers on the road is reasonable to some extent, I am also of opinion that the government should enforce some policies of punishment as well as the families need to educate or promote awareness about traffic safety in addressing traffic accidents.
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Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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believe
that it is the best to solve vehicle crashes by prohibiting youngsters from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. While this opinion is valid to a certain extent, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are superior solutions to the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
should
be banned
. The reason behind this is that the youth are
commonly
reckless and aggressive when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they may endanger not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other
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drivers
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
For example
, Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cross over red lights and drive under the influence of alcohol have caused numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
In addition
, according the survey examined last year, the percentage of youngsters causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
speeding accounted for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
registered. This example goes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how it is beneficial when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are banned
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
on the road.

On the other hand
, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the settlement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by the following solutions. There are two main measures.
Firstly
,
that is
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies of punishment when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Furthermore
, the families
also
need to educate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
safety for their children.
For instance
, when having stricter punishments, they cannot have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to pay a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
fine.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they might control their personalities when attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. Meanwhile, with promoting awareness of safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, they would know degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of consequences which they caused. One of the most terrible is that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the death, what is mentioning is that causes death for innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It is
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, this may advantage in dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

In conclusion
, while banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is reasonable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I am
also
of opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies of punishment
as well
as the families need to educate or promote awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
safety in addressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
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IELTS essay • The best way to address traffic accidents is to ban young drivers from the road. AoD?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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