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Do you follow any influencers on social media? Why?

Do you follow any influencers on social media? Why? BLq35
In the modern world, the Internet and social networks of various people, both bloggers and ordinary people, are very well developed. Also, many people nowadays have very good earnings and in addition they keep their blogs. I subscribe to such people on social networks because I am interested in their lives. They motivate you to work and you are interested in different types of earnings thanks to them. I especially like to follow young businessmen, about my age. Their life is very bright. I am very proud of them and I want to be like them because they are great, because to start a business at an early age you need to be very smart and brave. I believe that such people can achieve a lot in the future, because the earlier you start doing business, the richer you will be when you become an adult.
In the modern world, the Internet and social networks of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, both bloggers and ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
earnings and
in addition
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their blogs. I subscribe to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on social networks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
am interested
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They motivate you to work and you
are interested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of earnings thanks to them.

I
especially
like to follow young businessmen, about my age. Their life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
bright. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud of them and I want to be like them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are great,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business at an early age you need to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart and brave.

I believe that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve a lot in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the earlier you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing business, the richer you will be when you become an adult.
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IELTS essay Do you follow any influencers on social media? Why?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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