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sports and games on tv shows are affect young generations. at what extent do you agree this /

sports and games on tv shows are affect young generations. at what extent do you agree this / rbR7L
The poor health of young generation are to blame sports and game shows on television. To a great extent I agree the above statement because, TV shows are nowadays made younger more lazy and irresponsible. On the contrary a tiny extent I disagree because, there are a number of programs are really informative. On the one hand, television programs are extremely attractive and colorful. Therefore, it can attract young minds in to it. Finely, they become addicted to the program and knowingly or unknowingly forgot their works and stick with those programs. At the end the become more and more lazy. In addition, such TV programs badly affect a number of youngsters because, they are totally irresponsible about there daily tasks. For instance, in teens, it is the turning point of their life. How numerous efforts and hard works they can put in their studies are defined there future career. Not only academic activities on the contrary also physical exercise are too critical in life. On the other hand, immensely few of television programs are good source of information. Such shows are improved knowledge. For example, quiz programs contacted by a number of shows are help to gain information which to develop general knowledge. Directly or indirectly it is a beneficial side of TV shows. To conclude, the majority of television programs are produce teens lazy and could not give any progress in life as well as such shows mitigate younger as an irresponsible one. Therefore, at a great extent I support that sports and game shows are responsible for make youth more unhealthy and irresponsible.
The poor health of young generation are to blame sports and game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. To a great extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the above statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are nowadays made younger more lazy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
irresponsible
.
On the contrary
a tiny extent I disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
really
informative.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
extremely
attractive and colorful.
Therefore
, it can attract young minds in to it.
Finely
, they become addicted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and
knowingly
or
unknowingly
forgot their works and stick with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the become more and more lazy.
In addition
, such TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
badly
affect a number of youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
irresponsible
about there daily tasks.
For instance
, in teens, it is the turning point of their life. How numerous efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
works they can put in their studies
are defined
there future career. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic activities
on the contrary
also
physical exercise are too critical in life.

On the other hand
,
immensely
few of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of information. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
knowledge.
For example
, quiz
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
contacted by a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to gain information which to develop general knowledge.
Directly
or
indirectly
it is a beneficial side of TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

To conclude
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are produce teens lazy and could not give any progress in life
as well
as such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
mitigate younger as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
irresponsible
one.
Therefore
, at a great extent I support that sports and game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are responsible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youth more unhealthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
irresponsible
.
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IELTS essay sports and games on tv shows are affect young generations. at what extent do you agree this /

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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