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Do you agree that taking part in sports is important for an adult’s health and happiness. Discuss.

Do you agree that taking part in sports is important for an adult’s health and happiness. Discuss. m8kaq
One of the conspicuous trends of today’s world is the colossal in the increase in used of sports. There is widespread worry that this will only lead to a myriad of concerns in the society. In my opinion, sports has more negatives impacts than positive impacts in the society. On one hand, critics may point out that one of the most significant benefits of taking not part in sports is important for an adult’s health and happiness. For example, research conducted in Sydney im the year 2014 has found that after the introduction of taking part in sports. There has been an increase of 80 percent in sports. On the other hand, there are numerous arguments in favour of my stance. One of the most preponderant one is that taking part in sports has negative consequences for the community in various ways. Firstly sports according to an article published by the week, the proportion of taking part in sports have dropped from 40 percent today. Secondly, a large proportion adults has deteriorated because of taking part in sports. Eventually, in view of the argument artlined above, it can be concluded that despite having some benefits, the drawbacks of sports sites in the society are indeed to dire to ignore and necessary steps must be taken effectively control sports.
One of the conspicuous trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world is the colossal in the increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. There is widespread worry that this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to a myriad of concerns in the society. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has more negatives impacts than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts in the society.

On one hand, critics may point out that one of the most significant benefits of taking not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an adult’s health and happiness.
For example
, research conducted in Sydney
Possible spelling mistake found.
im
the year 2014 has found that after the introduction of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. There has been an increase of 80 percent in sports.

On the other hand
, there are numerous arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance. One of the most preponderant one is that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for the community in various ways.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
according to an article published by the week, the proportion of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have dropped from 40 percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Secondly
, a large proportion adults has deteriorated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in sports.

Eventually
, in view of the argument
Possible spelling mistake found.
artlined
above, it can
be concluded
that despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sites in the society are
indeed
Did you mean "too dire to"?
to dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
and necessary steps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
effectively
control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS essay Do you agree that taking part in sports is important for an adult’s health and happiness. Discuss.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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