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do you agree that celebrities are paid way too much?

do you agree that celebrities are paid way too much? 3apjn
It is widely believed that famous superstars are generally overpaid and in fact, they don’t deserve the amount of money they earn. This essay strongly disagrees with this belief and this point of view will be supported by some justifications in the following paragraphs. Firstly, reaching the stage of being a celebrity can’t be accomplished effortlessly. Although a plenty of people take a shot at careers such as acting, modeling or singing, only a few can achieve the high level that is anticipated for gaining fame. For instance, a number of youngsters participate in talent shows such as America’s got talent every year, but only two or three of them may benefit from it and end up successful in the path they have chosen; Therefore, we should reward the ones who reach the top levels. Secondly, it is a case of supply and demand. As long as people appreciate the work done by celebrities, they pay money for it. For example, if you are pleased with a musician’s songs, you buy tickets to their live shows in light of the fact that you enjoy their live performance and they create a memorable time for you. Thirdly, no one can tell that well-known people have an easygoing life. We all admit that the idea of being a star is so tempting, but once you find yourself well-reputed, you may no longer be able to have a private life like you used to. We all hear news about singers or actors who suffer from this issue and have to deal with several mental disorders. To summarize, the amount of cash that prominent artists or athletes make is not an easy money and most of the time, it is worthy of their attempt due to the fact that they gained it because of their huge endeavor.
It is
widely
believed that
famous
superstars are
generally
overpaid and in fact, they don’t deserve the amount of money they earn. This essay
strongly
disagrees with this belief and this point of view will
be supported
by
some
justifications in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, reaching the stage of being a celebrity can’t
be accomplished
effortlessly
. Although a
plenty
of
people
take a shot at careers such as acting, modeling or singing,
only
a few can achieve the high level that
is anticipated
for gaining fame.
For instance
, a number of youngsters participate in talent
shows
such as America’s
got
talent every year,
but
only
two or three of them may benefit from it and
end
up successful in the path they have chosen;
Therefore
, we should reward the ones who reach the top levels.

Secondly
, it is a case of supply and demand. As long as
people
appreciate the work done by celebrities, they pay money for it.
For example
, if you are
pleased
with a musician’s songs, you
buy
tickets to their
live
shows
in light of the fact that you enjoy their
live
performance and
they create a memorable time for you.

Thirdly
, no one can
tell
that well-known
people
have an easygoing life. We all admit that the
idea
of being a star is
so
tempting,
but
once you find yourself well-reputed, you may no longer be able to have a private life like you
used
to. We all hear news about singers or actors who suffer from this issue and
have to
deal with several mental disorders.

To summarize
, the amount of cash that prominent artists or athletes
make
is not an easy money and most of the time, it is worthy of their attempt due to the fact that they gained it
because
of their huge endeavor.
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IELTS essay do you agree that celebrities are paid way too much?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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