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As a part of education, students should spend a period of time living in another country to learn its language and culture. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

As a part of education, students should spend a period of time living in another country to learn its language and culture. v. 2
The trend of education has been changed significantly and as a result of this, more people are studying abroad over the centuries. It is essential for the students to go overseas in order to learn another country’s language and culture; otherwise it would be difficult to learn foreign languages and cultures within the native environments. More students are studying abroad to learn foreign languages as it would be easier to learn other cultures and customs by being with foreigners. As the result of this method has been successful, there are growing demands with studying overseas to learn other languages. For example, it is very common to see that many Asian students travelled to Western countries in order to learn English and in fact, after few years of staying in those countries. The best way to learn another language is by being in the countries where students want to learn the language. In contrast, some might claim that it would be even difficult to learn other languages by being mother-tongue countries because students may adopt to learn the mother-tongue languages rather than foreign languages. Students or children are more comfortable to speak their mother-tongue than that of foreign languages. As a result of this, they prefer to speak their native language more than that of foreign languages. Therefore, when students are surrounded by native environments, they may not try to learn other languages. In conclusion, there are various ways to learn new languages but staying in overseas to learning new languages becoming growing methods. Due to the difficulty to master one’s language by being native surroundings, it would be better to learn other language by being in the foreign environments.
The trend of education has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
and
as a result
of this, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are studying abroad over the centuries. It is essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to go overseas in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and culture;
otherwise
it would be difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and cultures within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
environments.

More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are studying abroad to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as it would be easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and customs by being with foreigners. As the result of this method has been successful, there are growing demands with studying overseas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
For example
, it is
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very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
travelled to Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English and in fact, after few years of staying in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is by being in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the language.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might claim that it would be even difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
by being mother-tongue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the mother-tongue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
or children are more comfortable to speak their mother-tongue than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
As a result
of this, they prefer to speak their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
more than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Therefore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
environments, they may not try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
languages.

In conclusion
, there are various ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
staying in overseas to learning new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
becoming growing methods. Due to the difficulty to master one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
by being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
surroundings, it would be better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
by being in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
environments.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay As a part of education, students should spend a period of time living in another country to learn its language and culture. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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