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do you agree or disagree with the following statement, idea that because people are so busy these days, they are capable of doing a few things well v.2

, idea that because people are so busy these days, they are capable of doing a few things well v. 2
Nowadays, people are so much busier and occupy their life than in the past. The number of tasks that everybody has to do is more than their energy capacity. But there is no other way; people have to run as fast as they can so that they manage their lives. I definitely agree with this idea that because people are so busy these days, they are capable of doing a few things well. I have this idea because of two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First, doing any little things needs concentration. People have to focus on various things during the day, such as driving, children’s school, shopping, their appointment at work, etc. When they have to do many things, there is a high chance that they will be forgetful and lose their concentration. As a result, people can not do everything well, because their minds have to think of several issues at the moment. My own experience demonstrates this concept very well. Two years ago, when I just got married, my whole responsibility in life increased, and I had to do several things during a day. Besides, four days a week I went to work and two days to university. I had to do so many tasks during a day, and my mind was so occupied. In those days, I was totally messed up, and literally, I could not do all things well. Second, not only do people have to do so many tasks during a day but also they do not have the actual time that they need. In no way do they can manage their duties very well. As a result, when people are in a hurry, they can not correctly do anything. They hardly do it with accuracy. It is one of the effects of today' s busy lives. To sum up, I firmly agree with this idea that today' s people can not do their works perfectly. Because, actually, they have to do so many things during the day, and their minds are so busy. Furthermore, they do not have enough time for any individual task, so this issue decreases their concentration and compels them just to finish their works.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much busier and occupy their life than in the past. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
that everybody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do is more than their energy capacity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is no other way;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
run as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy these days, they are capable of doing a few things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. I have this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First
, doing any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
things needs concentration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on various things during the day, such as driving, children’s school, shopping, their appointment at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, etc. When they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things, there is a high chance that they will be forgetful and lose their concentration.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not do everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their minds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of several issues at the moment. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience demonstrates this concept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. Two years ago, when I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married, my whole responsibility in life increased, and I had to do several things during a day.
Besides
, four days a week I went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and two days to university. I had to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
during a day, and my mind was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
occupied. In those days, I was
totally
messed up, and
literally
, I could not do all things well.

Second, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
during a day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they do not have the actual time that they need. In no way do they can manage their duties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
As a result
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in a hurry, they can not
correctly
do anything. They hardly do it with accuracy. It is one of the effects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To sum up, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not do their works
perfectly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, actually, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things during the day, and their minds are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy.
Furthermore
, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for any individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this issue decreases their concentration and compels them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to finish their works.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay , idea that because people are so busy these days, they are capable of doing a few things well v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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