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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Dissatisfaction leads to progress. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

: Dissatisfaction leads to progress. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
People in different societies are working hard for plenty of reasons. Development is something similar between every nation which they pay much more attention to it. Some people think that this can be achieved if a sense of dissatisfaction present among them. However, some others suggest that progress is a big matter and cannot be judged by only one parameter. I believe that dissatisfaction is the origin of every feeling in any community due to some reasons although few persons may question them anyway. First, any group or society must come to the understanding about lack of something which makes them to demand it. When you feel you have not had a privilege or you were banned from achieving it, a sense of dissatisfaction exists inside yourself that push you toward getting that. For example, if you cannot play football at school because your school has not built a soccer ground and you watch other kids playing easily in their own school fields, it triggers an emotion in you which force you to do something about that. Surprisingly, these feelings would not go away until you possess whatever you are struggling about. Secondly, dissatisfaction has the main role in most protests which are shaped in opposition of any governments. Generally, governments and state legislators listen to their people less than what it must be properly. So, no demand and revolution will occur if they silence any dissatisfaction generated in society. Furthermore, scientifically humans’ brains are set in such a especial configuration that any deficiency and missing of something would trigger a person’s mind to do some action to compensate that void. So any other factors which élite folks debate about are naturally initiated by the dissatisfaction and altered to other more complex desires in a larger society. Therefore, we should know that when we react to an awful situation inevitably, it is our brain which is talking and we shall listen to it. In summary, people like to gain a variety of goals during their life. However, sometimes they try harder to achieve them. Experts link that to our sense of dissatisfaction consequently. I think that this fact can be almost true since we do our best to have something when we lack it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
societies are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons. Development is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
similar between every nation which they pay much more attention to it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this can
be achieved
if a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dissatisfaction
present among them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others suggest that progress is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
matter and cannot
be judged
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one parameter. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dissatisfaction
is the origin of every feeling in any community due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons although few persons may question them anyway.

First
, any group or society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the understanding about lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to demand it. When you feel you have not had a privilege or you
were banned
from achieving it, a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dissatisfaction
exists inside yourself that push you toward getting that.
For example
, if you cannot play football at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
your school has not built a soccer ground and you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kids playing
easily
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
school fields, it triggers an emotion in you which force you to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
about that.
Surprisingly
, these feelings would not go away until you possess whatever you are struggling about.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dissatisfaction
has the main role in most protests which
are shaped
in opposition of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
Generally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and state legislators listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less than what it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
properly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, no demand and revolution will occur if they silence any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dissatisfaction
generated in society.

Furthermore
,
scientifically
humans’ brains
are set
in such
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
especial configuration that any deficiency and missing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
would trigger a person’s mind to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action to compensate that void.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors which
Possible spelling mistake found.
élite
folks debate about are
naturally
initiated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dissatisfaction
and altered to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more complex desires in a larger society.
Therefore
, we should know that when we react to an awful situation
inevitably
, it is our brain which is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talking and
we shall listen to it.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to gain a variety of goals during their life.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they try harder to achieve them. Experts link that to our sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dissatisfaction
consequently
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this fact can be almost true since we do our best to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
when we lack it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay : Dissatisfaction leads to progress. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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