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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v.833

Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v. 833
A commercial film contains various features as well as the country' s cultural values. Even though showing of cultural aspects of commercial films may dependent on the main purpose of advertising, the viewers are enabling to grasp the country' s information directly and indirectly regardless with the nature of the advertisements. Advertising contains may information. Depends on the nature of advertisements, the message of advertising can be vary and it contains massive information. Also, the information that focused on the product varies. Some might focus with the function of the products while others focus on the effects of the products. For example, the advertising for a cereal can provide a huge range of data; the ways to eat cereals, the nutrition values and the effects of the products, but the advertisements are only focusing one aspect at a time. By doing that, the viewers can understand about the product well and which can be different from a country to a country. In contrast, the nature of advertisement is dependent upon the purpose of commercial film but viewers can still see the cultural aspect of advertisement. In the case of language used, background (environment) scenes and the methods of eating related to the cultures indirectly. However, if the advertisements are related to travelling, then the viewers can get more knowledge about countries. Likewise, the nature of products provide the information about the country in a direct or indirect way which we may not aware of. In conclusion, advertising has been telling us about a country directly or indirectly. We have not aware of cultural value by looking a the products in commercials.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
film contains various features
as well
as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values.
Even though
showing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
films may dependent on the main purpose of advertising, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
are enabling to grasp the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
directly
and
indirectly
regardless with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of the advertisements.

Advertising contains may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, the message of advertising can be
Consider using the past participle "varied"?
vary
and it contains massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that focused on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
varies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might focus with the function of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
while others focus on the effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, the advertising for a cereal can provide a huge range of data; the ways to eat cereals, the nutrition values and the effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing one aspect at a time. By doing that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
can understand about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
well and which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to a country.

In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is dependent upon the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
film
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. In the case of language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, background (environment) scenes and the methods of eating related to the cultures
indirectly
.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are related
to travelling, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Likewise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in a direct or indirect way which we may not aware of.

In conclusion
, advertising has been telling us about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
directly
or
indirectly
. We have not aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
value by looking
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in commercials.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v. 833

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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