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Essay topics: Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view. v.2

Essay topics: Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 2
Governmental expenditure, nation`s money which should be allocated carefully to develop the country, should be taken the highly consideration. It is believed that funding arts is a waste of the country`s budget, and it would be more useful if government directed these funds on other facilities such as health, education and infrastructure. I am of the opinion that art is not essential same as other important facilities, but its pivotal role cannot be forgotten. This essay will discuss firstly, other facilities that could be better, and secondly, the importance of arts in nation life, followed by a reasoned conclusion. There are several channels which are imperative to be funded by government, and these should be taken the first priorities by any government. Basic facilities of the country, such as health, education, are extremely important for nation development; therefore, allocating sufficient funds for those are imperative. When people find these basic facilitates in an acceptable level, government can avoid a lot of problems which might be occurred. For example, low rate of youth violence is measured in some countries which secure good fund to their educational system, where in Finland. On contrary, we cannot neglect the vital effect of the arts; thus, a suitable deposit should be considered while arranging the country`s rationalized budget. Arts has a significant positive consequence on individual as well as the country. It reflects the country culture and keeps nation to remember their old tradition, and it is also seducing many tourists to visit the country which their spending will enhance country`s economy. For instance, France is known as the Country of arts, and one of the key incomes to it is the tourism; therefore, securing enough fund to the arts is mandatory for country development. In conclusion, it is important to concentrate in funding the essential facilities which have direct positive impact on the nation and the country, but we can not deny that arts is one of the channel that improve the country indirectly.
Governmental expenditure,
The character between 'nation' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "nation’s" (curly apostrophe) or "nation's" (straight apostrophe).
nation`s
money which should
be allocated
carefully
to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, should
be taken
the
highly
consideration. It
is believed
that funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of the
The character between 'country' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "country’s" (curly apostrophe) or "country's" (straight apostrophe).
country`s
budget, and it would be more useful if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
directed these funds on other facilities such as health, education and infrastructure. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not essential same as other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its pivotal role cannot
be forgotten
. This essay will discuss
firstly
, other facilities that could be better, and
secondly
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
life, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

There are several channels which are imperative to
be funded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and these should
be taken
the
first
priorities by any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Basic facilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, such as health, education, are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
development;
therefore
, allocating sufficient funds for those are imperative. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find these basic facilitates in an acceptable level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems which might
be occurred
.
For example
, low rate of youth violence
is measured
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
to their educational system, where in Finland.

On contrary, we cannot neglect the vital effect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
;
thus
, a suitable deposit should
be considered
while arranging the
The character between 'country' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "country’s" (curly apostrophe) or "country's" (straight apostrophe).
country`s
rationalized budget.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "art has".
Arts has
a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequence on individual
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It reflects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to remember their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
tradition, and it is
also
seducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which their spending will enhance
The character between 'country' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "country’s" (curly apostrophe) or "country's" (straight apostrophe).
country`s
economy.
For instance
, France
is known
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, and one of the key incomes to it is the tourism;
therefore
, securing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
development.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to concentrate in funding the essential facilities which have direct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can not deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is one of the channel that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
indirectly
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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