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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Programs made in one's own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. v.767

Programs made in one's own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. v. 767
As some people may hold the view that their own movies are more interesting than the foreign countries' products; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and consider a foreign country' s film more appealing. I personally agree with the second belief. In this essay, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons which persuade me to put forward this perspective. The first exquisite reason which advocates my idea is the people' s incline to try the novel things. According to the noteworthy intelligible research conducted in my country Iran, more than the sixty nine percent of the Iran population is willing to undergo the new events. Most of the movies which are made internally are based on the ordinary subjects. The big portion of the society daily faces these subjects and themes; consequently, they do experience or try anything new. This scenario leads to the monotone and exhaustion among the concepts of the films. On the other hand, most of the foreign countries’ films are shaped based upon their own beliefs which vary from other countries’ attitudes. Or at least they depict some new scenes which will be totally different form the other countries’ previous adventures. The last reason which confirms the accuracy of my belief is the role of the foreign movie as an informative link. It is explicitly obvious that one of the convenient ways to get aware of the various cultures is to watch the films. Thus, if a person does not have a chance to be responsible of traveling costs, watching films is an appropriate path which cheaply paves the way. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my own example. I was really wondering to get informed about Italy; however, financially it was impossible for me to visit that country. Thus, by watching some films which was related to cultural and historical values of the Italy, I got informed about all details. To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead us to the conclusion that watching a foreign country' s film is more absorbing than own country product, in the sake of trying the new things and enhancing the knowledge level about different beliefs, cultural values.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hold the view that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
movies are more interesting than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
countries&
#039; products;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others may take an opposite viewpoint and consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s film more appealing. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
. In this essay, I will delve into the most outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

The
first
exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which advocates my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s incline to try the novel things. According to the noteworthy intelligible research conducted in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Iran, more than the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sixty nine
percent of the Iran population is willing to undergo the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Most of the movies which
are made
internally
are based
on the ordinary subjects. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
portion of the society daily faces these subjects and themes;
consequently
, they do experience or try anything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
. This scenario leads to the monotone and exhaustion among the concepts of the films. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
films
are shaped
based upon their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
which vary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
attitudes. Or at least they depict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
scenes which will be
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
form the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
previous adventures.

The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which confirms the accuracy of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
is the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
movie as an informative link. It is
explicitly
obvious that one of the convenient ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware of the various cultures is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the films.
Thus
, if a person does not have a chance to be
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
traveling costs, watching films is an appropriate path which
cheaply
paves the way. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on the subject is my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
example. I was
really
wondering to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
informed about Italy;
however
,
financially
it was impossible for me to visit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, by watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
films which
was related
to cultural and historical values of the Italy, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
informed about all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and examples lead us to the conclusion that watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s film is more absorbing than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
product, in the sake of trying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and enhancing the knowledge level about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
, cultural values.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Programs made in one's own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. v. 767

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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