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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should take out student loans to avoid working while studying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.766

Students should take out student loans to avoid working while studying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 766
I am not agree with this point that " Student should take out student loans and avoid working while studying" . In some cases I am agree with this point however all suitations are not fit in this statement. First of all talk about Why I am not supporting this point fully. In some cases some students are unable to get the loans. The loan provider is not satisfied with their economical background. Some students family are economically backward. So they are not able to pay the intrest rate on the loan. This is happened with one of my friend beacuse in her family there is no morgue to keep in bank. The bank deined their loan. In such case student have to work to fullfill there daily need and the college fee. Moreover, some students family are not ready to take the loan from bank because of higher loan interest rate. They fall in to apprehension to do that thing. In such case student have to work while studing which is best option for them. All this cases are happened with the middle and lower class family because they are not well educated so they have fear to do all procedure. However some family have good economical background, still there chlidren studing while working. They want to make their children independent. So that they can also get exprience and money too. Another view is that some students want it to become independent so they must go to woking while studing. Now, the another side of this that, some stuents can take loan and avoid working while studying. It will happened with students who have strong economical background. Their parent feels that their children do more concentration on study rather than working. Eventually, Some students have to do work while studing because of their personal problems or family economaical conditions.
I am not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this point that
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
should take out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
and avoid working while
Possible spelling mistake found.
studying&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point
however
all
Possible spelling mistake found.
suitations
are not fit in this statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
talk about Why I am not supporting this point
fully
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
provider is not satisfied with their economical background.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are
economically
backward.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are not able to pay the
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
rate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
. This
is happened
The verb 'happen' usually requires the preposition "to".
with
one of my friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
in her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
there is no morgue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in bank. The bank
Possible spelling mistake found.
deined
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
. In such case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
there daily need and the college fee.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are not ready to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
from bank
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
interest rate. They fall in to apprehension to do that thing. In such case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work while
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
which
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
option for them. All
Did you mean "these"?
this
cases
are happened
with the middle and lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have fear to do all procedure.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
economical background,
still
there
Possible spelling mistake found.
chlidren
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
while working. They want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their children independent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
exprience
and money too. Another view is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want it to become independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
woking
while
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the another side of this that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
stuents
can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
and avoid working while studying. It will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "happen"
happened
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have strong economical background. Their parent feels that their children do more concentration on study
rather
than working.

Eventually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do work while
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their personal problems or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
economaical
conditions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Students should take out student loans to avoid working while studying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 766

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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