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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students can get asmany benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from theiracademic studies. v.706

Students can get asmany benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from theiracademic studies. v. 706
Since the dawn of civilization, beneficial activities have had the greatest roles in people' s lives from all over the world, for people are always trying to make their lives more delightful, convenient and successful. While some people believe that student can get many benefits from organization or club like their academic studies, others hold exactly opposite viewpoint. In no way could I agree with the latter idea. There are some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. To begin with, it is undoubted that so influential have practical experiences been that they have had a great number of positive effects on people' s lives around the world, yet above all they have expanded students' horizon and make them more experienced and knowledgeable. Since they are supposed to attend the society in the near future, it provides an opportunity for them to put their knowledge into practice and touch the real word practically. An example will illustrate this viewpoint much better. There was a time that I worked on a project relating to my master thesis in a company due to that I could become familiar many real things resulting in accomplishing my master thesis properly. I do believe that had I not worked in that companies, I could not have seen real world from different aspects. The second debatable point is that on the one hand, some people believe that what gained by organizations are not beneficial and they take their time and it is better that they should focus on their studies, yet one the other hand, some people believe that student are able to gain some experiences which there are not in any books or classes. In fact, they learn how to behave with their co-workers or how to manage their issues and many others valuable lessons. Therefore, I strongly agree with the latter idea and I do believe that the more student participate in some club activities, the less they have problems in the future. By way of illustration, the noteworthy intelligible result, which conducted in our country, show that 90 percentage of prosperous businessmen, are the ones participating in extra activities when they were in the school. To make a long story short, by considering all the aforementioned reasons and many others, one soon realize that no one can deny the enormous positive effects of organization and others activities on the students' future. Not only are they able to earn a great deal of valuable experience, but also they can touch real world and whatever they want to do in the next stage of their lives. For this reason, were I be determiner in our country, I would have established a center for student to provide an opportunity for them to gain a lot of lucrative benefits besides their studies.
Since the dawn of civilization, beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have had the greatest roles in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
more delightful, convenient and successful. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits from organization or club like their academic studies, others hold exactly opposite viewpoint. In no way could I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, the most outstanding of which will
be discussed
in the ensuing paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is undoubted
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
influential have practical experiences been that they have had a great number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
yet
above all
they have expanded
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; horizon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more experienced and knowledgeable. Since they
are supposed
to attend the society in the near future, it provides an opportunity for them to put their knowledge into practice and touch the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
word
practically
. An example will illustrate this viewpoint much better. There was a time that I worked on a project relating to my master thesis in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
due to that I could become familiar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
things resulting in accomplishing my master thesis
properly
. I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that had I not worked in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, I could not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.

The second debatable point is that on the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that what gained by organizations are not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
beneficial and
they take their time and it is better that they should focus on their studies,
yet
Did you mean "on"?
one
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are able to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experiences which there are not in any books or classes. In fact, they learn how to behave with their co-workers or how to manage their issues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others valuable lessons.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the less they have problems in the future. By way of illustration, the noteworthy intelligible result, which conducted in our country,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that 90 percentage of prosperous businessmen, are the ones participating in extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
when they were in the school.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, by considering all the aforementioned reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realize that no one can deny the enormous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; future. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they able to earn a great deal of valuable experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can touch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and whatever they want to do in the
next
stage of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For this reason
,
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
I be determiner in our country, I would have established a center for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to provide an opportunity for them to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
lucrative benefits
besides
their studies.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Students can get asmany benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from theiracademic studies. v. 706

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
471 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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