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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? some adults want to get independence from his parents as soon as possible v.619

some adults want to get independence from his parents as soon as possible v. 619
Independence is an abstract notion in the mind of human being. Invariably all people in the world don' t like to confine themselves to others. From this psychology, people want to live according to their own accord. But in the case of adults, this scenario is going to increment within a decade a lot. Consequently parental care, social boundaries are now very trifling to them. In reality, independent life without parents at the very beginning of adult age is a totalitarian concept. From these perspectives, I stand on the latter viewpoint for a couple of reasons. To begin with, Parental care is the most adorable aspects of adult ages. It is a must for their proper nourishment. If an adult is bereft from parental care in this time, he will easily lose his track. Rather being in the parental atmosphere, he will be more co-operative and learn how he is nurtured by his parents. Surely, it raises his sense of humor to ponder over his parents. In the reciprocal scenario, if we look at the independent adult person, they lead their life without any care and decision. As a result, their growth and compassionate to the elders seem very poor. Moreover, their ill-nourishment paves a way to lead a disordered life. For instance, whenever I was in class ten, my best friend was kept himself aloof from his parents. As a result, his life was shattered, more often than not his time management, co-operation knowledge was very discombobulated. More importantly, it is said that he was in a fix and absolutely it was an obliterated life. In addition, to be independent is not so easy for everyone. In the school and college life, it is hard to manage expenses with owns accords. Rather it is very difficult to some extent. Whenever a lot of pressure of repaying college fees, managing tuition, controlling expenses of daily' s meal makes a huge burden to him, he easily treads his leg in an evil path. Consequently, his moral ethics goes to be a nastic one. Last but not least, his willingness to paving an illegal way makes himself an offender. For instance, my close friend who was very serious at an early age, his independent thinking makes him a rascal. This is only because of his inconvenience of earning money at this tender age. Furthermore, independent life does not mean to lead one' s life quite irresponsibly. Rather it inspires oneself to ponder over oneself and society' s development. In the other way, it can be said that it makes ourselves to be responsible for our own works. Additionally, it does not mean to abscond parents. However living with parents, independent life is enjoyed with full of vigor. In today' s world, man is very aware of one' s choices and likings. In this case, parents don' t bother to their children. Mostly they just mend themselves in a righteous way. For example, whenever I was in college, I was in a fix of getting severed myself from parents. In that case, I was just going to be addicted to wine. And parents were trying with their might and main to repack me. So independent life is not substantiated by so-called nastic works. To wrap it up, it is required for young adults to familiarize themselves with the responsibilities they have towards their families which will only occur if they live with parents for longer times. Besides their life' s meaning will be proved if they continue their adulthood in the right track in keeping a relationship with parents.
Independence is an abstract notion in the mind of human being.
Invariably
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t like to confine themselves to others. From this psychology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
accord.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, this scenario is going to increment within a decade a lot.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, social boundaries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
trifling to them. In reality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning of adult age is a totalitarian concept. From these perspectives, I stand on the latter viewpoint for a couple of reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is the most adorable aspects of adult ages. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for their proper nourishment. If an adult is bereft from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
in this time, he will
easily
lose his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.
Rather
being in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
atmosphere, he will be more co-operative and learn how he
is nurtured
by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Surely
, it raises his sense of humor to ponder over his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In the reciprocal scenario, if we look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
adult person, they lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and decision.
As a result
, their growth and compassionate to the elders seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor.
Moreover
, their ill-nourishment paves a way to lead a disordered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, whenever I was in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
ten, my best friend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
himself aloof from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
As a result
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was shattered
, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not his time management, co-operation knowledge was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
discombobulated. More
importantly
, it
is said
that he was in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
and
absolutely
it was an obliterated life.

In addition
, to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy for everyone. In the school and college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to manage expenses with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
accords.
Rather
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. Whenever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure of repaying college fees, managing tuition, controlling expenses of
Possible spelling mistake found.
daily&
#039; s meal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a huge burden to him, he
easily
treads his leg in an evil path.
Consequently
, his moral ethics goes to be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
nastic
one. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, his willingness to paving an illegal way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
himself an offender.
For instance
, my close friend who was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious at an early age, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him a rascal. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his inconvenience of earning money at this tender age.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
does not mean to lead
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quite
irresponsibly
.
Rather
it inspires oneself to ponder over oneself and
Possible spelling mistake found.
society&
#039; s development. In the other way, it can
be said
that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
ourselves to be responsible for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
works.
Additionally
, it does not mean to abscond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is enjoyed
with full of vigor. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
aware of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s choices and
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t bother to their children.
Mostly
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
mend themselves
Consider replacing "in a righteous way" with the adverb for "righteous"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a righteous way
.
For example
, whenever I was in college, I was in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
of getting severed myself from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
In that case
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
going to
be addicted
to wine. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were trying with their might and main to repack me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not substantiated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called
Possible spelling mistake found.
nastic
works.

To wrap it up, it
is required
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to familiarize themselves with the responsibilities they have towards their families which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occur if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for longer times.
Besides
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
life&
#039; s meaning will
be proved
if they continue their adulthood in the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
in keeping a relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay some adults want to get independence from his parents as soon as possible v. 619

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
596 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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