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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v.52

Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 52
It is generally revealed that some people are birth with certain skills such as sports or music and others are not. But sometimes seen that any child can be taught to become a good sportsman or musician. So I will discuss both aspects and give my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. Some people are born with certain talents like sports and music. It is given by God. So they mostly show their interest in sports activities and music. For example, singers mostly increase their talent with music because they have more knowledge about the singing. They are doing more practice on singing lines. So one day they become a good singer. Secondly, some children show their interest in medical lines so they are on medical subjects because theynt to become doctors. So that they mostly keep maintain their certain talents. However, some children have do not knowledge about the sports activities and music. So they get knowledge about it from the personal trainers. Moreover, sometimes they are joining in the games. So they get more information. So children do hard work on it. Moreover, they faced many problems in sport activities, but day by day they become good sportsmanship. They get information about the punctuality, discipline and honesty from the sports activities. Consequently, some children create their interest in the music line so that children get knowledge about the singing. They learn about the knowledge such as music instruments and quotes about singing. In conclusion, some children are birth with talented skills so it is beneficial for them. But some students are getting knowledge about the sports and music so when children doing hard work to fulfil their dreams so one day they get success in our life.
It is
generally
revealed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are birth with certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that any child can
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sportsman or musician.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will discuss both aspects and give my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are born
with certain talents like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by God.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For example
, singers
mostly
increase their talent with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the singing. They are doing more practice on singing lines.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
one day they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
singer.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest in medical lines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are on medical subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
theynt
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
doctors.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
they
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
maintain their certain talents.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
Use past participle here: "done".
do
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about it from the personal trainers.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they are joining in the games.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work on it.
Moreover
, they faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
day by day they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sportsmanship. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about the punctuality, discipline and honesty from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
create their interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
line
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the singing. They learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instruments and quotes about singing.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are birth with talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is beneficial for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students are getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to fulfil their dreams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one day they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in our life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 52

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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