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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. People in the today’s world have become too dependent on automobiles. v.487

People in the today’s world have become too dependent on automobiles. v. 487
In today’s modern life, thanks to the technological breacktroghts in every section of science, the way of our life has altered dramatically. some people are of the opinion that the technologhy affect consumerism, hence more dependent on them, while others believe that people just adapted with technology and it does not mean dependency. I personaly subscribe to the view that we do not dependent on autimobiles as a sample of advanced technology for two main reasons. In the following paragraphs my reasons will be elaborated on in more detail. To bigan with, I could not denay the fact that in today’s world, taransportations has modified, contributing to overpopulations. Genarally speaking, one of the most saleant factors of today’s life is increasing the usage of automobiles. However, using more cars do not indicate dependency to them. it means that societies are rised by their demands and using more car does not depart from the needs. As a case in point, in populated cities these days, just as automobiles are too much in the streets, so are publice transportation crowded too. Tokyio for instance, has such a incredible traffic over 24 hours per a day; on the other hand, their subway is crowded too. Threre for, the more population the more automobiles; therefore, dependency is not a reason for car’s consumerism. Secondly, in the past time, wealthy people utilized hourses or vagons instead of cars. In face, with the advent of cars to the world, it took place of other vehicles; nevertheless, average people could not efford for fancy appliances. Nowadays, as the same as the past, wealthy people have their vehicles. As a matter of fact, In my opinion, it does not change anything than the past. On the other poinst of view, leading to pollution and global warming, residents tend to use less cars to have healthy weather for their future generations. For example, reacently I have read a article about Sidny, in which is controled their arriosen of dangers gas pullption such as carbon dioxid, green houses gas, and other sorces of gas by decreasing of automobile usage. Drawing upon the resons what I mentioned above, although there are always some exceptions excluded from general ruls, I believe that not only people do not rely on their cars these days, but also veriety of societis attempt to reduce air pollution by decreasing usage of automobiles, although overpopulation put every afforts in different perspective.
In
today
’s modern life, thanks to the technological
breacktroghts
in every section of science, the way of our life has altered
dramatically
.
some
people
are of the opinion that the
technologhy
affect consumerism,
hence
more dependent on them, while others believe that
people
just
adapted with technology and it does not mean dependency. I
personaly
subscribe to the view that we do not dependent on
autimobiles
as a sample of advanced technology for two main reasons. In the following paragraphs my reasons will
be elaborated
on in more detail.

To
bigan
with, I could not
denay
the fact that in
today
’s world,
taransportations
has modified, contributing to
overpopulations
.
Genarally
speaking, one of the most
saleant
factors of
today
’s life is increasing the usage of
automobiles
.
However
, using more
cars
do not indicate dependency to them.
it
means that societies are
rised
by their demands and using more
car
does not depart from the needs. As a case in point, in populated cities these days,
just
as
automobiles
are too much in the streets,
so
are
publice
transportation crowded too.
Tokyio
for instance
, has such
a incredible traffic
over 24 hours per a day; on the
other
hand, their subway
is crowded
too.
Threre
for, the more population the more
automobiles
;
therefore
, dependency is not a reason for
car’s
consumerism.

Secondly
, in the
past time
, wealthy
people
utilized
hourses
or
vagons
instead
of
cars
. In face, with the advent of
cars
to the world, it took place of
other
vehicles;
nevertheless
, average
people
could not
efford
for fancy appliances. Nowadays, as the same as the past, wealthy
people
have their vehicles. As a matter of fact, In my opinion, it does not
change
anything than the past. On the
other
poinst
of view, leading to pollution and global warming, residents tend to
use
less
cars
to have healthy weather for their future generations.
For example
,
reacently
I have read
a
article about
Sidny
, in which is
controled
their
arriosen
of
dangers
gas
pullption
such as carbon
dioxid
, green
houses
gas, and
other
sorces
of gas by decreasing of
automobile
usage.

Drawing upon the
resons
what I mentioned above, although there are always
some
exceptions excluded from general
ruls
, I believe that not
only
people
do not rely on their
cars
these days,
but
also
veriety
of
societis
attempt to
reduce
air pollution by decreasing usage of
automobiles
, although overpopulation put every
afforts
in
different
perspective.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Mistakes

IELTS essay People in the today’s world have become too dependent on automobiles. v. 487

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
404 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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