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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young children should learn to draw or paint. Include details and examples to support your response. v.333

Young children should learn to draw or paint. Include details and examples to support your response. v. 333
The purpose of movies has been a topic of debate in modern society as people’s opinions vary from a source of entertainment in a way of gaining knowledge. This essay is to shed light on both views before reaching my conclusion. Supporters of the former statement argue that the main purpose people going to the cinema is to depressurize themselves but not to study and gain knowledge. Their saying is rooted in the fact that a comedy movie easily draws attention from viewers by their humorous stories, enabling watchers relaxed and recharge batteries for their life. To win viewer’s favours in this sense, it is not uncommon that Vietnamese film producers, for example, have invited ubiquitous comedian actors and actresses to play the main roles in their films. Given their sense of humours, these movies easily gained popularity, especially among the young, getting a high audience rating. I side with those who believe that, however, filmmakers should bear in mind that the message delivered determine whether their stories would be remembered or not. People today, especially workers or elderly, have a really low tolerance for a meaningless movie which has no educational value. In fact, people watch comedian films for humorous scenes only and skip the rest, whereas an instructive film makes people follow all episodes to clearly understand the messages behind. Blockbuster films from Disney, Marvel, for instance, never fail to introduce an educational value, from the lessons of saving the poor, paying attention to environmental problems to the love and generosity shared between people. That is the reason why their viewers are always searching for watching them, as contrast to comedian filmmakers who could only make one or two famous films. In conclusion, owing to these mentioned arguments, one can reach a conclusion that a successful film is the one that could leave watchers a lesson to think about, rather than some fun sayings that are to be forgotten.
The purpose of
movies
has been a topic of debate in modern society as
people’s
opinions vary from a source of entertainment in a way of gaining knowledge. This essay is to shed light on both views
before
reaching my conclusion.

Supporters of the former statement argue that the main purpose
people
going to the cinema is to depressurize themselves
but
not to study and gain knowledge. Their saying
is rooted
in the fact that a comedy
movie
easily
draws attention from viewers by their humorous stories, enabling watchers relaxed and recharge batteries for their life. To win viewer’s
favours
in this sense, it is not uncommon that Vietnamese film producers,
for example
, have invited ubiquitous comedian actors and actresses to play the main roles in their films.
Given
their sense of
humours
, these
movies
easily
gained popularity,
especially
among the young, getting a high audience rating.

I side with those who believe that,
however
, filmmakers should bear in mind that the message delivered determine whether their stories would
be remembered
or not.
People
today
,
especially
workers or elderly, have a
really
low tolerance for a meaningless
movie
which has no educational value. In fact,
people
watch
comedian films for humorous scenes
only
and skip the rest, whereas an instructive film
makes
people
follow all episodes to
clearly
understand the messages behind. Blockbuster films from Disney, Marvel,
for instance
, never fail to introduce an educational value, from the lessons of saving the poor, paying attention to environmental problems to the
love
and generosity shared between
people
.
That is
the reason why their viewers are always searching for watching them, as contrast to comedian filmmakers who could
only
make
one or two
famous
films.

In conclusion
, owing to these mentioned arguments, one can reach a conclusion that a successful film is the one that could
leave
watchers a lesson to
think
about,
rather
than
some
fun sayings that are to
be forgotten
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Young children should learn to draw or paint. Include details and examples to support your response. v. 333

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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