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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should use money as an incentive for kids to behave well in school. v.329

Parents should use money as an incentive for kids to behave well in school. v. 329
The economic gap between rich and poor has increased by great means over the last few decades. This leads to some people think that there should be capping of salaries by the government while others believe that having high wages reflects the good side of the nation by showing various means available in the country to earn. In my opinion, the government should not impose any restrictions on the incomes of people. The group of people who support the idea of income capping by the administration, gives arguments that the economic disparity between the rich and the poor can be decreased, which in turn provide social security to poor from the unfair means. They are of the view that the extreme riches can do more harm than good. For example, the rich can get their jobs done by using position and money, which encourages corruption in various departments. They also believe that it leaves poor people earning lesser salaries with the feeling of inadequacy. On the other hand, people believe higher earnings are good for the nation. People regard bigger salaries as rewards for their talents. Putting caps on income will diminish the productivity of the workers as they won't feel motivated to work hard. The reason being that it is human tendency to expect good payoffs for putting in lots of effort in their jobs. They won't feel appreciated for their talents and hence will search for better work opportunities abroad. Good earning people also contribute to the economy of the country as the buying capacity of the people is, in turn, increased. Wages are the rewards and appreciations earned by putting hard work and efforts. There are several other ways to control economic gap. The governments can impose higher tax rates for higher incomes. The administration must try to provide better education and training facilities to poor instead of capping the salaries. To sum up, economic disparity is not a good thing, but limiting income is not the solution to it. Rather, governments should create better earning means for the poor by offering free education etc.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
has increased by great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
over the last few decades. This leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there should be capping of salaries by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
while others believe that having high wages reflects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
side of the nation by showing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
available in the country to earn. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not impose any restrictions on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
capping by the administration, gives arguments that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
disparity between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
can
be decreased
, which in turn provide social security to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
from the unfair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
. They are of the view that the extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riches
can do more harm than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their jobs done by using position and money, which encourages corruption in various departments. They
also
believe that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
lesser salaries with the feeling of inadequacy.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for the nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
regard bigger salaries as rewards for their talents. Putting caps on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
will diminish the productivity of the workers as they won't feel motivated to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. The reason being that it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a human" or "is an human"
is human
tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
payoffs for putting in lots of effort in their jobs. They won't feel appreciated for their talents and
hence
will search for better work opportunities abroad.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
contribute to the economy of the country as the buying capacity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is, in turn, increased. Wages are the rewards and appreciations earned by putting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and efforts. There are several other ways to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
gap. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can impose higher tax rates for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
. The administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to provide better education and training facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
instead
of capping the salaries.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
disparity is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is not the solution to it.
Rather
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should create better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
by offering free education etc.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents should use money as an incentive for kids to behave well in school. v. 329

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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