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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad 2bKGb
The issue about whether to allow children to watch television is controversial. A lot of parents do not agree that children should be allowed to watch television because of the negative impacts on them. I completely disagree with the statement that watching television is bad for children. For several reasons, which will be mentioned below the essay. Firstly, watching television is educational. Children can learn a lot from watching television. Many channels teach children about morals. They learn how to respect their elders. A program can teach children that their parents, sister and brother are their aunt and uncle respectively. Also a program can also teach little children on how to read ABC to Z and 123. Secondly, watching television provides awareness. Children should be allowed to watch programs that show current affairs, documentaries and news. Watching these channels make them aware of what is happening around them and in the world. An example of one these programs is CNN, which provides us with update of current news in the world. Thirdly, watching television is entertaining. Children can be entertained by watching cartoons or listening to music. These programs are fun, relaxing and at the same time entertaining. On the other hand, they should not be allowed to watch television for a long period of time. It is the responsibility of parents to let them know when they should not watch television like when it is after 9: 00pm and when they will have to study for their class works. In conclusion, children should be allowed to watch television because it is educational, entertaining and provides awareness to what is happening around the world.
The issue about whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is controversial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
parents do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on them. I completely disagree with the statement that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. For several reasons, which will
be mentioned
below the essay.

Firstly
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is educational.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can learn a lot from watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
channels teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about morals. They learn how to respect their elders. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that their parents, sister and brother are their aunt and uncle
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
can
also
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on how to read ABC to Z and 123.

Secondly
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
provides awareness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs, documentaries and news. Watching these channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware of what is happening around them and in the world. An example of one these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
is CNN, which provides us with update of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
news in the world.

Thirdly
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is entertaining.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
be entertained
by watching cartoons or listening to music. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are fun, relaxing and at the same time entertaining.
On the other hand
, they should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for a long period of time. It is the responsibility of parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know when they should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
like when it is after 9: 00pm and when they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
works.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is educational, entertaining and provides awareness to what is happening around the world.
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IELTS essay Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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