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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? You should not believe everything you read in the newspaper. v.270

You should not believe everything you read in the newspaper. v. 270
Some would argue that the number of museums takes entry fees, whereas some others are free of charge. This essay will argue that despite there being some demerits of charging fees for admission, benefits of being charged for entry in museums outweigh any drawbacks. When people get charged with entry tickets of the museums, the number of people visit the museum will most likely to get reduced. This is because, nowadays, people are more incline towards technological stuffs. If children have a choice between museums and video games, then they definitely select video games. For example, 70% of the people choose to do different stuffs such as going for trips and parks instead of visiting museums reported in our a survey in the US. In my point of view, charged entries in the museums decreases the profit margin which might help to maintain the properties which is very hard get because the people are less likely to visit the place which is boring and paid. However, there is one strong point as a major advantage for paid entries in the museums which is the maintenance. The government has other major issues to solve so that they are less likely to pay for the maintenance, but the money which is collected as an entry fee are fruitful to maintain the buildings of the museums and by investing them into the right places, which attracts people to look into it also very great to raise the fund and popularity. A good reference for this is that, 75% of the museums in the Germany are in excellent conditions which all are self-funded. In my opinion, this is like an opportunity to get funds to maintain the structures of the museums which are worthwhile and eclipses any cons of paid entry in the museums. In conclusion, getting funds for the maintenance far outweigh the supposed disadvantage of fewer people visit to the museum while there are paid entry in the museums.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
fees, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others are free of charge. This essay will argue that despite there being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits of charging fees for admission, benefits of
being charged
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
outweigh any drawbacks.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
charged with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
tickets of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
will most likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more incline towards technological stuffs. If children have a choice between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and video games, then they definitely select video games.
For example
, 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stuffs such as going for trips and parks
instead
of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
reported in our a survey in the US. In my point of view, charged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
decreases the profit margin which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain the properties which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less likely to visit the place which is boring and paid.

However
, there is one strong point as a major advantage for paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which is the maintenance. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has other major issues to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are less likely to pay for the maintenance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the money which
is collected
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
fee are fruitful to maintain the buildings of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and by investing them into the right places, which attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to look into it
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great to raise the fund and popularity. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reference for this is that, 75% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in the Germany are in excellent conditions which all are self-funded. In my opinion, this is like an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
funds to maintain the structures of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which are worthwhile and eclipses any cons of paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
in the museums.

In conclusion
, getting funds for the maintenance far outweigh the supposed disadvantage of fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
while there
are paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You should not believe everything you read in the newspaper. v. 270

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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