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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Every child should be raised in a home with two parents. v.227

Every child should be raised in a home with two parents. v. 227
The debate weather new technology could replace newspaper and magazines in the near future, as opposed to existing along side the traditional ways, has become a matter of discussion for many. I completely agree with this statement, in my opinion, it will completely eliminate the old newspaper and magazines. In this essay, I shall outline the benefits and drawbacks of this development and analyse the possible causes of this trend. To start with, there are some predominant reasons, which are responsible for this change. Firstly, the technology such as E-books and mobile phone, provide many benefits. For example, their use helps in saving millions of trees from being used in paper manufacturing. Therefore, nowadays, the government is encouraging its use among the general public. Secondly, a single mobile phone is capable of holding many millions of books in its memory, allowing the people to carry all their favourite books with ease. Lastly, as there is no cost of printing, raw material and shipping, involved in publishing news articles over the internet. It keeps the subscription fee at the minimum, to access these online materials. Furthermore, many newspaper and magazine agencies are now turning their businesses completely online, as they are getting attracted by the immense potential for profit that this market has to offer. In addition, a recent study published at the Stanford University, showed that the demand for virtually available content is growing rapidly and in next 5 years, we could see newspaper and magazines to disappear entirely from the market. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in the contemporary life and from the given arguments and examples, it is clear that this market is shifting towards E-books and other modern technology. In the future, it will be safe to say that this change will bring many positive improvements in the society.
The debate weather new technology could replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
in the near future, as opposed to existing
Did you mean "alongside"?
along side
the traditional ways, has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, in my opinion, it will completely eliminate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
. In this essay, I shall outline the benefits and drawbacks of this development and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the possible causes of this trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
predominant reasons, which are responsible for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Firstly
, the technology such as E-books and mobile phone, provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
For example
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in saving millions of trees from being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in paper manufacturing.
Therefore
, nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is encouraging its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
among the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
Secondly
, a single mobile phone is capable of holding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
millions of books in its memory, allowing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to carry all their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
books with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
Lastly
, as there is no cost of printing, raw material and shipping, involved in publishing news articles over the internet. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the subscription fee at the minimum, to access these online materials.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
agencies are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
turning their businesses completely online, as they are getting attracted by the immense potential for profit that this market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer.

In addition
, a recent study published at the Stanford University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the demand for
virtually
available content is growing
rapidly
and in
next
5 years, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
to disappear
entirely
from the market.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in the contemporary life and from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this market is shifting towards E-books and other modern technology.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the future, it will be safe to say that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
improvements in the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Every child should be raised in a home with two parents. v. 227

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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